A Day in my Life

It’s been a long, exhausting week.  With A back at school, I knew it would be.  But I’ve also had Irish and German colleagues in town which means hours upon hours of meetings and extra-long work days.  Although the meetings have been very productive and my colleagues are great, I’m ready for the week to be over.  I’m just physically and mentally drained.  Here’s a little glimpse into an average day in my life…

5:15 ~ Wake up and drag myself out of bed to start getting ready for the day.

6-6:30 ~ W wakes up.  Give him some orange juice and try to continue getting ready while W pulls on my shirt, demands to be picked up every 5 minutes, and refuses to play with toys until it’s time to leave.  He also brings me various things that he knows are mine – hairbrushes, cell phone, rollers, shoes, makeup.  By this time, the bathroom is a mess. J

7-7:15 ~ Leave the house.

8-8:30 ~ Arrive at work.  My commute is between 45 minutes and 1 hour 15 minutes depending on traffic and if I drop off W.

8:30-5+ ~ Work. :P

6 ~ Arrive home and help get dinner on the table/prepare W’s dinner, eat, clean up.

7 ~ Play with W.  Usually books or flash cards.  He loves watching cell phone videos of himself so sometimes we do that too. J

7:30 ~ Hop in the shower (I’m weird and shower at night – no time to dry hair in the morning).

8 ~ Start getting W ready for bed which includes: diaper change, pajamas, sometimes a book, and bottle.  Yes, he still gets one bottle at bedtime – it’s part of our routine and considering his inconsistent sleep, I’m afraid to  change it.

8:30 ~ A gives W his bottle while I make my lunch, pick up toys, blow dry my hair.

9:15 ~ Maybe get about 15 minutes to check email, Facebook.

9:30 ~ Start getting ready for bed.

Yeah, I’m worn out.  Is this a typical schedule because I feel like other people have some down time?  I can't even tell you the last time I watched a tv show and I think it's been years since I've seen a movie.  And don’t get me started on Tuesday.  I had a work dinner so I was gone from 7am-10pm.  I need a vacation… and I miss caffeine.

As I was trying to figure out how I was going to get ready for work and entertain a toddler at the same time, W wandered off to his room.  He was too quiet so I went to check on him and found him reading.  Melt my heart.

16 Weeks With Baby #2

How far along? 16 weeks

Size? Baby is the size of an avocado.

Maternity Clothes? Yes.  And I'm already tired of them.  I hate spending money on maternity clothes, but I've picked up a couple tops recently because I needed some variety.

Weight Gain? Not sure and I'm ok with not knowing.

Gender? According to the Verifi blood test, IT'S A BOY.  Another sweet little boy and we are thrilled.  Momma knew all along.

Sleep? Pretty good - except when W wakes up in the night.  He's getting over a cold and always seems to wake up when that happens.  Hoping to avoid cold germs as much as possible as we head into fall.

Movement? I think I've felt baby a few times, but nothing consistent.

Food Cravings? I allow myself one small Carmel Frappe from McDonald's each week and they are heavenly.

Labor signs? Way too early.

What I Miss? Chicago style hot dogs and deli sandwiches still.  And margaritas.  Any my energy.  It's coming back, but I still get tired so easily.

Symptoms? Feeling good lately.  Just the occasional headache and sore back, but can't really complain.

Happy or Moody? Happy!

Best Moment of the Week? Finding out #2 is a boy!  More progress on the house.  We took W to an indoor play place at the mall and he had a blast.  Mom had a blast watching him run around.

Looking forward to? Feeling more movement from baby, our fantasy football draft party (yes, we're nerds), fall (my favorite season!!).

This is a really horrible picture.  I had A take a phone pic after a long day of work.  Well, my phone has a tendency to make pictures really blurry - maybe something on the lens.  Somehow black and white looked less blurry.  I promise the next one will be better... and maybe I'll even wear shoes!  On the bright side, the blurry/darkness makes me look really thin so that's a win. ;)

IVF #3 - June

6/2/2014 - This weekend was nothing short of amazing.  I decided to take a hpt on Friday morning - 5dp5dt.  I had one expired FRER test left over from W so I figured why not take it, it was going to go in the trash anyway.  I took and it was negative.  Clearly negative.  I was disappointed, but I knew it was really early. I set the test aside and went about my day.  That night, I went to throw the test away and noticed an extremely faint second line.  So faint, you had to squint to see it, but it was there.  I wasn't sure what that meant.  Could there still be hcg in my system from the trigger?  The test was way expired so maybe it wasn't working?  It was several hours past the time I was supposed to read it so I knew it wasn't accurate.

I decided to take another test on Saturday morning (6dp5dt).  Took the test and it was positive!!!  Faint, but definitely positive.  I decided I'd take another the following day and then tell A.  I wanted to make sure these results were real and I hoped the line would be a little darker.  That same day, A and I found out that our offer for a house was accepted!!!  I couldn't believe it.  So much good news in one day!!

Sunday morning, 7dp5dt, I took another test.  Faint positive.  But it wasn't darker than my previous test and I was worried.  It actually looked like the line was lighter.  Everything I read on Google (big mistake) said this was a bad sign.  I was worried and decided I'd take another test that night (a little crazy, yes).  Sunday night, another test.  Clearly positive and much darker than the morning's test.

I'm happy and excited, but still nervous.  I know we have a LONG way to go.  Blood test is tomorrow.  Hoping for good numbers. :)

6/3/2014 - Today was my blood test!  I'm awaiting results and hoping the numbers look good.  I asked the clinic to leave a detailed message so that A and I could hear the results together.  If they're not good, I want him nearby and if they are good, well, I want him to hear the news when I do.  I'm nervous!  And I continue to hate those stupid PIO shots.  Last night's hurt.  I actually cried. :(

6/4/2014 - I received two phone calls from the clinic yesterday.  That made me nervous.  Why would they call twice?  I specifically told them I wanted to listen to the results with my husband.  I waited all day to listen to those messages, wondering what the numbers were, hoping they were good.  Finally, I arrived home at 5:45 and A and I listened to the message immediately.  "Congratulations, your test came back positive.  Please give us a call back."  That was it.  No numbers.  No details.  I was so so disappointed.  The next message just asked that I call back.  It was such a let down after waiting all day, expecting to hear the hcg levels.  So I called first thing this morning and got ahold of a nurse right away.  My hcg level was 120 at 9dp5dt.  The nurse said they wanted it to be over 50 so good news!  Such a relief.  I go back Friday to have my hcg level checked again.  Hopefully, that number doubles.

6/11/2014 - Friday (6/6/2014), I went in for another blood draw.  When the clinic hadn't called my 1:00 pm, I was nervous.  Doesn't the good news always come early in the day and they bad news late?  That's been my experience.  So by 3:30 I was scared out of my mind that something was wrong.  The clinic closed by 4 so I decided to call them just after 3:30.  All was good and my hcg level was 370.  I was so relieved.  I don't go back until 6/23/14, which seems like forever.  In the meantime, I've been traveling for work, fighting allergies or a cold, and I'm worn out. :P

6/12/2014 - So it already happened.  The administrative assistant asked if I was wearing a loose shirt for a reason.  I'm 5 weeks.  5.  It's sooo early.  And I wasn't ready for that question.  I simply said no and walked away as quickly as possible.  I think I'm mostly bloated because of the progesterone shots (which still suck), but oh.my.gosh.  Also for documentation sake, I had "symptoms" throughout the two week wait - lower back pain, mild cramping, bloating.  But these could have easily been progesterone related.  The two biggest signs that I was pregnant were more noticeable veins and an overall achy feeling.  I had that achy feeling while I was pregnant with W.

6/25/2014 - I don't even know where to begin.  I haven't updated in awhile.  A was hospitalized, I had an awful business trip, life has been stressful.  But things are well with baby W #2.  I had an ultrasound on Monday (6/23) and we were able to see one baby and baby's heartbeat.  It was wonderful and exciting.  It's still very early so I'm trying not to get too excited, but I'm happy.  And I have an end date for those yucky PIO shots!  3 weeks and counting!!  Oh, that reminds me... I had to give myself a shot when A was in the hospital.  Incredibly difficult and painful.  But I survived.  Anyway, I continue to be achy, tired, and a little nauseous, but I actually like it because it's a reminder that I'm pregnant. <3

Prenatal Testing

During my first pregnancy, I did most of the prenatal testing that was available.  This time around, I planned to do the same.  I like to be prepared and if something was wrong with baby, I wanted to know.  I elected to do the Verifi test this time.  It’s relatively new and wasn’t available during my first pregnancy.  It tests for Trisomy 13, 18, and 21 as well as abnormalities associated with the sex chromosomes.  To be completely honest, the reason I chose this test is because it can tell you baby’s gender.  And it can tell you much earlier than an ultrasound.  For someone with 0 patience, it seemed like a great option.

I had the blood test done two weeks ago.  And for the most part, I was excited and focused on finding out the gender.  And then last week, it hit me.  What if the test results come back abnormal??  And since then, I’ve been freaked out and thinking maybe I shouldn’t have done the test.  I hate waiting for results.  At least with the ultrasound, you know results right away.

So I checked the Verifi website and it says results should arrive back to your healthcare provider in 3-6 days.  What?!?  I’ve waited nearly 2 weeks.  So I finally gathered the courage to call the doctor’s office and ask if the results were in.  The receptionist said she’d have someone call.  My phone rang and I got nervous.  The nurse explained that my results were in, but my doctor would need to review them and she’d have to call me back tomorrow.  My heart can’t take this.  Now I’m wondering if there’s bad news since my doctor needs to review the results. Ugh.  :\

Update:  I wrote this post yesterday afternoon.  I spoke to a nurse this morning and all is well with Baby #2... AND I know baby's gender!!!

W is 20 Months old!!

Happy 20 months, W!

That scares me.  Mainly because I feel like I JUST wrote your 19 month update… and your 18 month update.  I don’t know where the time is going.

Unfortunately, 20 months is not off to a good start because you woke up with a cold.  But you seem to be in good spirits nonetheless.

In terms of development, we were a bit concerned about your speech.  We’re keeping a close eye on your progress over the next couple months.  But I’m happy to report you’ve added a few new words this month.  You started saying more and juice.  You’ve also said walk, house, button, Dee Dee (Addie) and a couple others words I don’t recall.  You also say mower, as in lawn mower, which sounds the same as “more”.  You’ve been repeating more words that Da and I say.  We’ve gotten a few suggestions from cousin Lindsey, who is a speech pathologist and we’ll continue to work with you.  I’m concerned about your speech, but not overly concerned.  Here’s why: you do seem a bit behind on verbal expression, BUT you excel in other areas.  Like comprehension.  You know so many words.  I’ll ask you to identify objects in books and around the house and you always point to the correct thing.  I think you even know some colors.  You also follow directions.  You make connections and understand relationships.  For instance, one of us will wear a striped shirt and you’ll point to it, then point to your striped rug.  You have no problem matching up puzzle pieces and completing all of your puzzles.  I also keep in mind that your Da and I aren’t the loudest people.  Ma always had teachers say she was quiet and “needed to come out of her shell” and I suspect Da was also pretty quiet in school (I may be wrong).  So I think part of the reason you’re not talkative is a personality trait.  Anyway, enough about that.

You LOVE trucks and we recently picked up a few more at a consignment sale.  You push them around the house and love to play with them on the daybed.  Not sure why.  Maybe you’re imagining you’re on a hill?  You also continue to love being outside and you and Da have spent many, many hours playing in the yard, going to the park, and taking walks.  You love “riding the horsey” on Ma and Da’s lap.  You love chips (Hands down, your favorite snack.  I give you a couple after dinner as a dessert.).  You’ve been “asking” to go to the pool lately by opening a photo album, finding a picture of Da in the pool, and repeatedly pointing to it.  We’ll try to make that happen before the pool closes.  And speaking of photo albums, you love looking at photos and do so almost every day.  You like to find Ma and Da – the toddler version of Where’s Waldo.  You also seem to love our house and your room.  You have much more space to run and play.  Da and I decided your big boy room would be sports themed.  You often wake up and point out the various baseballs, basketballs, footballs, etc. throughout your room.  I love that you love your room. J

Things that you don’t love lately include new foods.  I encouraged you to try pasta.  You touched it, shivered, then gagged.  You’re also not loving church lately.  I think our church friends jinxed us.  They mentioned how great and well behaved you always are.  Well since then, you’ve been getting restless towards the end of mass.  A couple weeks ago, you yelled “goal” and launched yourself off the pew a short time later.  That resulted in lots of tears.  You still hate diaper changes.  Especially the final one – I think you know bed time follows.  Lately, Da changes you and I read you a book.  That seems to be working for the time being.

All in all, we had a great month.  I was at my wits end previously because you were hitting and throwing things – often at poor Addie.  But you’ve gotten so much better.  It still happens, but not as often as it used to.  You’re such a sweet boy almost all the time and Da and I enjoy taking you out and about with us because you’re usually so well behaved.  You are our everything and more, little man!

Preparing for IVF #3 - May (Part 2)

5/21/2014 - Retrieval went well!  18 eggs retrieved.  I'm happy with that number.  The staff was great and I felt really good after it was over.  So good that I picked up a few groceries and went to lunch with A.  That's never happened before.  For past retrievals, I've been really sore and out of it afterwards.  By afternoon, though, I wasn't feeling great.  I was very sore and very tired.  Took a nap and felt better, but then got a headache.  Took my meds and Tylenol before bed and woke up feeling great... until I took my antibiotic.  They aren't kidding when they say take with food.  I thought I was going to be sick multiple times on my way to work.  Major nausea ensued  I forced myself to eat a little breakfast and drink some Coke (Coke always make my tummy feel better??) and I was totally fine.  Lesson learned.  Now I await the fertilization report - so so nervous.

5/22/2014 - I received the fertilization report yesterday.  I had 15 mature eggs and 11 were fertilized by ICSI.  So we have 11 embryos.  I was told we'd do a five day transfer.  I explained I was nervous because our embryos tend to stop developing on day 3.  I was told it was very unlikely that all 11 embryos would stop developing.  I then asked if they'd check the embryos on day 3 and if the embryos didn't look good, could we do a 3 or 4 day transfer.  I was told that the embryos wouldn't be checked until day 4 or 5 - that they tried to handle them as little as possible.  That makes sense, but I'm really nervous.  Last time we did a 5 day transfer, it didn't work.  What if we have no embryos by day 5?? :\

Also yesterday, I started PIO shots.  I think they may be the scariest thing yet.  I've never had to do them before.  I give all injections to myself, but this one I can't do since it has to be injected in the upper portion of the butt.  TMI??  It was awful.  The needle is big and it hurt.  And I hate not being able to give them myself.  I trust A, but if anyone is inflicting pain on me, it should be me!!  Hate them.  And I might've cried.  And I'm dreading having to do another tonight.  And for the next several days. :*(  On the bright side, worrying about the shot is keeping me from worrying about the embryos.

Yup, this sums it up: http://ourmisconception.blogspot.com/2012/11/ode-to-pio-shot.html#.U35nLSYo7cs

5/23/2014 - PIO shot went much better last night.  Here's a little hint if anyone has to do these.  Hold the vial for 10 minutes prior to injecting.  This helps the oil warm up and it becomes less viscous, which makes it easier to inject.  Rub the spot afterwards and use a heating pad.  Also, it could just be me, but the lower the injection is, the more it seems to hurt.

5/27/2014 - I didn't update over Memorial Day weekend so this is going to be a bit long.  I was super super nervous about the quality of our embryos.  Transfer was scheduled for Sunday, 5/25.  Saturday, 5/24, I was a nervous wreck.  The fertility clinic called our home phone 3 times.  Each time, my heart stopped and I was sure transfer was going to be cancelled because we had no remaining embryos.  Each time, however, the call was an automatic reminder of my upcoming appointment.  So annoying.  Then I missed a call from the clinic on my cell.  No message was left.  Again, I was super nervous, thinking the worst.  I wondered if they'd call Sunday morning with bad news.
Sunday eventually rolled around and no phone call.  A and I arrived at the clinic early.  My nurse checked that my bladder was full enough for transfer (so uncomfortable) and it wasn't.  I had to drink more.  I asked if all the preparations meant that we still had embryos.  She said yes.  I was relieved, but still nervous because I didn't know what state our embryos were in - if there were high quality or not.
The doctor eventually came in and showed me a picture of the embryos we were transferring - one larger, one smaller.  It was very similar to our first IVF experience and I was disappointed that the embryos didn't look a little better.  He told me none met freeze criteria.  Very, very disappointing.  Especially since this clinic is supposed to be so much better.  I don't understand why we never have embryos to freeze after starting out with so many.  Embarrassingly, I'm not even sure if the second embryo is considered a blast.  I believe it is an early blast.  I didn't ask - I just know that it was smaller.  IF it was in fact a blast, then that would actually be better than our first cycle.
So now we're in the 2 week wait.  Hoping for the best, but preparing for bad news.  I feel normal for the most part.  Of course I'm overanalyzing every little twinge, looking for signs.  My back is really sore where the PIO shots have been injected.  Honestly, I wish I felt bad - I would take that as a good sign. :)

5/29/2014 - OMG!!  I'm SO excited!!  We have FROZEN EMBRYOS.  When I went in for transfer, we were told that none met the criteria.  I just assumed that was that.  But the clinic watched them another day and it turns out, they continued to grow.  So we have two frozen embryos!!  I'm thrilled!!!

Weekend Recap and the end of summer

This is the week I dread every year.  The final week of summer vacation before A heads back to school.  But first things first…

We had an awesome weekend.  After feeling horrible on Thursday, I felt great on Friday.  So much so that I worked, cleaned, hung pictures, and attended a consignment sale.  It was amazing to have my energy back and I was going to take full advantage.  That night, A and I headed to the Melting Pot for my belated birthday dinner.  It’s my favorite restaurant and since we hadn’t been there in 2 years, it was even more fun/delicious/exciting.  Not to mention, we hardly ever go to dinner, just the two of us.  In fact, I can’t even remember the last time.  Anyway, it was delicious and I loved it.  The perfect birthday dinner.  Also, our waitress was fantastic.  I love you, Melting Pot. J

Saturday, I got a haircut and then we picked out a light fixture and shelving for the house.

Sunday was church, Starbucks, grocery shopping, and more work on the  house.  A rented a UHaul Van and emptied out our storage unit with the help of my mom.  A huge task checked off our to do list.  Downside was my love seat had water marks on it.  Not happy since we specifically paid for an indoor, temperature controlled unit so our furniture would be protected.  After scrubbing the cushion covers and washing them, they’re looking better, but still upset about this.  Oh, I also made a really yummy chicken and pasta dinner that night.  A nice ending to a great weekend.

We got so much done - I love that feeling of accomplishment and our house is looking better than ever. J

Now onto this week… The week I dread.  I’m spoiled during the summer.  A is home to care for W during the day, run errands as needed, and start dinner.  My mornings are much less hectic with A’s help.  It makes me smile every morning when A takes both Addie and W outside for a morning walk.  W often rides in his wagon, still wearing his pajamas, and brings along a sippy cup with juice and a ball (his equivalent of coffee and a newspaper).  It’s really cute.  They’re usually all getting started on breakfast when I leave for the day.

But all that comes to an end when A starts school.  I know it will be fine and we’ll get back into our busy routine, but the transition is always tough.  I’m trying to appreciate everything this week and enjoy every last bit of summer vacation.  I’m off to a bad start, though, because I forgot my computer this morning.  I got all the way to work only to realize my laptop was sitting on my bedside table.  Fail.  Luckily, A came to my rescue and dropped it off at work for me.  Another reminder of why it’s so nice to have him home.