My goodness… what a weekend!! It was so much fun (albeit exhausting).
But first, I want to mention that my little blog was
featured on the Stitch Fix Reviews page.
Check it out!! I was completely
surprised and flattered when I received an email from Stitch Fix letting me
know. Maybe this will inspire me to take
better pictures. ;)
Our weekend started out with quite possibly the saddest
conversation I’ve ever had (don’t worry… things get better after this). I was tucking W into bed on Friday night as I
always do. He had had a meltdown prior
and I knew he was overtired. As I was
saying goodnight, W asked me, “Mommy are you going to die some day?” The question totally caught me off guard and
I wanted to be honest so I told him that yes, I would die someday, but not for
a VERY VERY VERY long time and it was something he shouldn’t worry about since
it would not happen for a really long time.
He then burst into tears telling me that I was his best friend and he
would miss me so much. So clearly I
should have just lied (I’m kidding… maybe).
It was heart breaking. I assured
him that I would be around for a long time and suggested that we go on a
special Mommy/W outing together.
Here’s the thing… We are very overprotective of our kids and
I don’t think I’ve ever used the term “die”.
Even when my mom’s cat died, I carefully told W that her cat was no
longer here because he was very sick. I
know kids pick up on things and we occasionally have the news on television,
but I was still surprised by the question.
I asked W where he heard about dying and he told me church?!? We go to church every Sunday, but the boys
read, have snacks, play, etc. I never
ever thought he was paying attention and understood the meaning of dying. Crap.
Anyone else have experience with this?
Luckily, Saturday was a great day and there was no more talk
of dying. A took W to swim lessons and
it went well once again. I took S to
school and he did awesome. He painted,
played at the sand table, poured rice in the sensory bin, and played with
cars. He was so well behaved. The only time he got fussy was when I told
him it was time to leave. The weather
was amazing that day. 55 degrees!! In January!?!
Unheard of. On a whim, A and I
decided to take the boys to a local zoo since the weather was so great. I absolutely love this particular zoo –
inexpensive, small, playground, and about 45 minutes from home. We were able to time the trip perfectly so
that S slept the entire way there. The
boys loved watching the monkeys and W even got to see an owl! The car ride home was a little more
challenging, but S only cried for about 5 minutes, which I can handle. Such a fun day!
Sunday started off with church and a trip to Starbucks. Then, A and I headed out to view the World
Series trophy. We had to wait in line
outside for about 3 hours. It was 45
degrees, so tolerable and not at all bad for January. The Cubs fans in line were friendly and we
brought lawn chairs to sit in. The 3 hours
actually went relatively quickly. The
first 500 people in line were guaranteed to see the trophy and we were in the
300 range. Once we got into the
building, things moved quickly. We were
only close to the trophy for about 10 seconds, but I’m so excited that we had
the opportunity to see it. As silly as
it sounds, this was one of my goals for the year. And I accomplished it in January!! Such an overachiever. ;) Afterwards, we stopped for a quick
lunch. W and I went grocery shopping and
I made my famous mac and cheese for dinner.
A wonderful, very full weekend in the books.
Elden has been particularly fascinated by death too and I think a lot stems from the Sunday school chat of Jesus dying on a cross for him. I just reassure him like you have and try to be honest with him. he freaked out when we explained what a cemetery was (he asked as we drove by) because he didn't want worms to eat his body. Then we explained caskets and now he'll ask if he can have his stuffed animals buried in his box with him when he dies. If he says he's scared of dying we tell him we understand that it is a scary thing and it's hard to understand and to try not to worry because we hope to all be around a long time. I read this is a normal fascination at this age so I'm trying to just be honest and as gentle with him as possible. It stinks and you aren't alone!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your perspective, Danielle!! I know I can't completely shelter my kids from these difficult topics, but I also want to explain them in a way so they aren't completely frightened and dwell on whatever (difficult) subjects are brought up.
DeleteI would say you handled the dying conversation well. His tears are a sign of how much he loves you, and you reassured him and suggested that you spend some one on one time which is also reassuring to him. I don't think kids at this age truly understand what death means; you handled it well.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Nancy!! It always amazes me how perceptive children are - the boys definitely keep me on my toes. :)
DeleteIt's so obvious how much you love your kids. Facts are facts. No alternative facts. I don't think it's a good idea to protect, or over-protect, kids from the facts. Kids need to consistently be told the truth. In an age appropriate way, of course. My family is a Jewish/Protestant mix, and we are agnostics, at best. We raised our kids w/o any religious training. I know you guys are church going. Are there any clergy you respect who could help guide you when these questions come up?
ReplyDeleteOf COURSE Stitch Fix featured you in that oatmeal cowl neck sweater - looks so good on you!
Good luck with the boys.
LOL! I love that you used the term "alternative facts". As a scientist, I cringe every time I hear that. And I agree with you - kids need the truth, but it needs to be explained in an age appropriate way. Good question about clergy and I don't have a good answer. You see, A and I are both Catholic, but as a scientist and feminist, I don't always agree with the church so I'm a bit reluctant to seek advice from the church (so complicated)...
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