Work Woes

May 2017, my group underwent a massive reorganization.  At the time, my career path had been moving to focus on regulatory.  I enjoyed that type of work and was learning strategy, writing NDA sections, and asking to be involved with more products so that I could learn the regulatory aspects of the different product types.  Overall, I was happy with my job.  My bosses had also told me that they planned on promoting me.  That all came to a screeching halt when the reorg was announced.  My group split in two and I returned to a quality role – a role I had previously left behind to pursue regulatory.  When I pointed out that I had actually taken a step backwards, the new management told me they didn’t realize that I’d previously held the title I’d now have.  How does management not know the background of their own employees?  They also told me they didn’t think my job had changed much since I’d still be responsible for the same products.  In my mind, it was a drastic change and a career altering move.

Even though I saw this as a huge step backwards, I decided to try to make the most of my new position.  I was happy to be reporting to a boss I had previously reported to.  We got along incredibly well and I knew he’d keep my career interests in mind.  He always wanted the best for me and I’ve learned a great deal from him over the years.  I took on a new responsibility – logging product quality complaints.  While I was initially looking forward to learning a new process, I quickly realized this was a very tedious responsibility in that my product had more complaints than any of the other products combined.  I rapidly learned the process, never missed logging a complaint (which sometimes involved working after the boys went to bed), and worked on a team to identify the cause of the defect that was generating so many complaints.  I wrote risk assessments and worked with a manufacturer to reduce the number of investigations they’d have to perform.  And while I continued in this “new role”, I continually looked for opportunities to move back to regulatory because I still felt that it was the best area for me and I missed the work.

In late 2017, early 2018, I was asked about my role and I was honest.  I explained that it wasn’t fulfilling, I wasn’t at all challenged.  I missed the work I had previously done.  I missed regulatory writing.  I also asked if there was anything I should work on, anything I needed to improve upon.  I was told “nothing”.  Around this time, my boss also mentioned that he requested a promotion for me.  Fast forward a bit, I was asked to move to yet another boss, another role. One that should be more challenging and hopefully more fulfilling.  For some reason, unbeknownst to me, I was passed over for a promotion.  I was told that in the new role, I’d learn a lot, I’d have writing opportunities, and come next round of promotions in October, I’d be happy I made the switch.  I was in tears.  I didn’t know what to do.  While I did want to be challenged and I was ready for different responsibilities, I wasn’t convinced that this was the type of work I wanted.  And I loved my current boss - I really didn’t want to report to anyone else.  But I also knew that responsibility for my products was being transferred to Dublin and I felt like my only choice was to make the switch. 

So in February 2018, I now had my third boss and third role in less than a year.  All without any promotions or recognition.  A month or so later, the VP of the regulatory department approached the VP of my department and mentioned she’d heard I was interested in regulatory and wanted to transfer.  He told her I was happy now and that they had found a better position for me.  A complete lie.  I would have moved in a heartbeat.  I felt like there was nothing I could do.  I was stuck.  And if I spoke up, I thought I risked being fired.  

In April, I won a pro-active award for extending the shelf life of one of our products.  I was supposed to be recognized at a group dinner, but the presenter couldn’t make it.  So instead, they just called me over to an office on a random work day and presented the award in front of anyone who was at their desks.  While I appreciated the recognition, it was all a little anticlimactic and felt like I was slighted.

Just a few weeks later, I’d be in tears again as my former bosses along with several others were let go from the company.  I was completely crushed.  These were people who taught me so much, people who always kept my best interests in mind and thought highly of me.  They had helped me develop professionally.  And with the lay offs went any chance I had of moving back to regulatory.  I tried to make the most of my new role, but I wasn’t happy and I’m still not.  I’ve had no opportunities to do the technical writing I was promised.

After that, my boss had a position open at the same level.  The plan was to hire someone who would hold the same title as me and do similar type of work.  A candidate was identified.  When that person was hired, the position was hastily moved under a different hiring manager.  And all of a sudden, the candidate was hired at a higher level than the job description indicated and the responsibilities had changed.  I was never given the chance to pursue the position because it was never listed as it was filled.  So incredibly deceptive.

My brother passed away in June and would you believe the current VPs never said a single word to me.  Not even an email.  Not a welcome back when I returned to work.  Nothing.  My former bosses and VP all came to the visitation and funeral.  Even if everything else hadn’t happened, this speaks volumes and was a clear indication of the people I work for.

In July, I interviewed at another company.  The position was two levels above my current position.  The interview went really well and I felt like it would be a great fit for me.  Ultimately, another candidate was offered the job.  It came down to our specific experiences – I excelled in the analytical aspects and with electronic systems, while her strengths were in a manufacturing plant.  The hiring manager had previously worked with the other candidate and determined her experiences were more beneficial for the state of the company at the time.  I was told that my resume was impressive and I interviewed well.  There was nothing I could have done differently.   In talking with me for a couple hours and reviewing my resume, this company saw more potential in me than my current company.

Promotions were announced last week.  Management made a point that only those who had taken on significant new responsibilities and went above and beyond their role would be considered.  I thought I had a shot.  For one, my previous boss told me I’d be promoted next round.  And for two, my role was completely different.  I had won the pro-active award (isn’t that the epitome of making an effort to go above and beyond??).  I was told the award was created for me – it was my namesake.  Eye roll.  I was on a team that initiated a clinical study in record time.  While I was transitioning to my new role, I held two roles simultaneously and managed several products/clinical studies concurrently.  I had discussed promotions with my new boss and made it clear that I felt I was deserving.  He told me he understood and heard me. 

Imagine my disappointment when I was passed over.  AGAIN.  I wasn’t at all surprised, but I was disappointed nonetheless.  All this time, I kept telling myself maybe the struggle would be worth it.  I’d been so flexible, willing to take on new responsibilities and tasks, working for different managers.  Maybe they’d realize my value.  Maybe, maybe, maybe… MAYBE NOT.  And best of all, those who were promoted all received the stupid pro-active award AFTER me.

If it wasn’t obvious before, it’s now abundantly clear – I have no future here.  My accomplishments will never be worthy of a promotion and I’ll never progress.  I need to get out.

In a heartbreaking year, I could have really used some good news.  But once again, I’m left with disappointment.