Tough Times

A is still undergoing IV treatment and still not feeling great.  I can’t speak for his emotional state, but I can say that I’m having a really hard time dealing with this situation.

It’s really depressing coming home from work and seeing A in his pajamas, hasn’t showered, no energy, no motivation.  Part of me blames the hospital.  That seems unfair, but before A was admitted, we were going out to lunch, looking forward to vacation, and living life.  Now, we’re moping around the house and planning tasks around the IV schedule.  It’s just sad.

I was very naïve and thought life would return to normal when A returned from the hospital and that’s just not the case.  My expectations were way too high.  Partly because I never experienced a situation like this before and partly because I was hoping for the best.

I usually get home from a long day of work at 6.  I try to put together a quick dinner, clean up a bit, play with W until his bed time, give him a bath, put on pjs, and rock him to sleep.  I feel like I’m on my own and I never have any down time.  It’s tough.

I just want A to get better.  I want to be excited for plans and upcoming events.  I want my partner back.  Right now, I’m just disheartened.  Maybe I’m overreacting a bit (likely), but I miss my active, upbeat husband.  Please send positive thoughts and prayers our way!