It’s no secret that I’m unhappy with my job lately. On Wednesday, I had a meeting with my new boss
as I do every week. I watched as he hesitated
just a bit and then asked about my professional goals, where I saw myself in
the future. Internally, I panicked a
little. Should I be honest about how miserable
I was, should I provide some vague response, should I pretend everything was
ok? I quickly decided I needed be honest
and hoped it would be a catalyst for change.
I explained (in a professional and respectful manner) that a year ago, I
liked the work I was doing. I was
challenged and on track for a promotion.
I was learning and developing professionally. When the reorganization happened, my title
changed to the same title I had four years ago.
It felt like a demotion. Not only
was I no longer learning and developing, but I felt like I had taken a huge
step backwards in my career and in the work I was doing. I felt like I was heading nowhere and I was
incredibly discouraged and frustrated. I
told him that I could not be doing the same type of work a year from now – it was
unfathomable to me. That I absolutely
needed a change. I told him I had
questioned my role and my future within the company numerous times. And while I have a new project on the horizon
(which I have not begun to work on yet), I still had concerns about my role and
responsibilities. We talked for an
hour. I explained that I was hesitant to
discuss my frustration because I didn’t want to be labeled a complainer or
uncooperative. I was afraid my concerns and
dissatisfaction would impact how I was perceived and ultimately my job. And as our conversation came to a close, my
boss thanked me many times for my transparency.
He said the ultimate goal was to keep me and if that meant moving to a
new role or a new department, then so be it.
I’m not sure what further changes will occur or what the future holds,
but I will say that it feels like a huge weight was lifted. I’m proud of myself for speaking up.
On a completely different note, W has been asking for a
sibling lately and it’s a little heart breaking. I’ve tried to explain that my body can’t have
any more babies – it’s just how God made me.
But that we do have an incredible family. I’m not sure where he got this idea. There are a couple pregnant moms at his
school so maybe that sparked his interest.
I’m slowly coming to terms with accepting our family status. ‘Accepting’ doesn’t seem like the correct term
because I don’t think I’ll ever be completely fine with not growing our family,
but I find myself not dwelling as much as I once did. W then asked about a former classmate, David,
and pointed out he had several siblings.
I had to think for a moment because I didn’t remember exactly who David
was. And then I realized David was
adopted and had three adopted siblings (plus two biological siblings!). I explained that yes, I would be open to
adoption, but I didn’t think it was going to happen. By that I mean, I’m open to adoption, but at
this point in time, I’m just not willing to go through all of the financial,
legal, regulatory, etc. hoops. Perhaps
that means I’m undeserving. But it would
basically take a birth mom reaching out to A and I or a baby appearing on our
doorstep and that’s not going to happen.
So family of 4 it is.
And on a much lighter note, we have no major plans for the
weekend. Just a corned beef dinner at my
mom’s. I’m desperately in need of an
uneventful weekend and I couldn’t be happier about having no plans.
Sadly, Addie doesn’t seem to be getting any better and it
appears there isn’t much we can do (aside from major surgery that offers no
guarantees of full recovery). We’re just
making sure our girl has lots of love and treats.
S appears to be getting yet another cold. His second one in just a couple weeks. That means that A and I will be cleaning a
pukey mess because puke is inevitable every time S gets a cold. I need a vacation.
Speaking of vacation, we booked our annual trip to
Maryland. Yay!! But now I’m worried about Addie and her care
while we’re away. L
I can't end this on a sad note so are you all doing March Madness brackets?? I am currently in very last place. Number 22, baby!! You may find that sad. I, however, think it's hilarious! Someone has to bring up the rear... haha!
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