Wednesday, June 19, 2019

Meant To Be?

This is going to be a super long post...

I’ve always wanted to be the type of person who believes things happen for a reason, but I never truly felt that way.  Especially for myself.  I’d see situations working out for other people and think wow, things really fell into place for them, but I didn’t necessarily believe that situations I found myself in were my destiny.  And what about the really devastating things that happen to people… I find it hard to believe there is a ‘reason’ for those.  Aside from my rambling, I’ve found myself wondering if a “things happen for a reason” situation actually happened to me.  Let me explain…

My job has been especially challenging *ahem* over the last couple years.  I detailed my sob story here.  But long story short, a reorganization landed me in a position that felt like a huge step backwards.  I really missed the responsibilities and experiences I had in my previous role and wasn’t really loving my current role.  I hoped to return to that previous role a year ago and it didn’t work out.  Shortly after, I found that my previous managers were let go from the company.  I was so disappointed and upset.

Last summer, I interviewed for a position at another company.  It would have been a big step up, a big promotion, but the job was not in the field I was interested in.  The interview went well and the interviewers told me they were impressed with my resume and hoped to see me again.  I knew it wasn’t a done deal, but I thought I had a good chance at the position.  I was really excited for a fresh start and anxious for new/different work.  I was so so desperate for a change.  And then I didn’t get the job.  I was devastated.  It was one of the lowest points in my life.  I interviewed right after my brother and my dog passed and I thought maybe I was due for good news.  A bright spot in a really awful summer.  But life doesn’t work that way.  Sometimes, even when you’re ‘due’ for a turnaround, a bit of good news, it doesn’t happen.  I was absolutely crushed.

And then in a strange twist of fate, I met the lady who got the job instead of me.  I don’t think she has any idea who I am or that I interviewed for the exact position she currently holds, but she admitted work wasn’t great.  She’s traveling a lot more than anticipated (I was told minimal travel during the interview).  The work is tedious, the contracted companies are really challenging to work with, and deadlines are near impossible.  She doesn’t seem particularly happy.  While no job is perfect, it seems this job isn’t as expected.

A couple months ago, I was offered a position at a different company.  The role was in the area I was interested in and the hiring manager was willing to help me learn – a huge plus!  But the hours would have been brutal and my vacation would’ve been cut in half.  I ultimately turned down the offer, but I’ve definitely questioned my decision.  It wasn’t a perfect job, but no job is and maybe it would have been a good career move?

And then a new director joined my current company.  He stopped by my desk to introduce himself and we realized we knew quite a few of the same people from previous work experiences.  Even though he was several levels above me, he was so friendly and kind.  I’m just not used to high level colleagues stopping by my desk to introduce themselves and chat.  He worked in the department that I had previously worked in and wanted to return to so badly.  I remember texting A and telling him I really wanted to work for this guy.  But there were no open positions.

So instead, I volunteered for work outside of my role.  I knew his department was understaffed and they needed help.  I knew the work that needed to be done and I had a pretty good idea on how to accomplish it.  I saw volunteering as a learning opportunity for myself and I met with him to make sure that the work I was doing was in line with his expectations.  I eventually worked up the courage to ask if he might have a position open at my level.  He said yes.  He was in fact working on obtaining approval to post a position.  I knew it was still a long shot; I had been away from that department for two years and I was sure he had colleagues from his previous company who’d be interested in working for him.  But I was hopeful.

Without knowing my intentions, another colleague even mentioned to him that I would be a good fit should a position ever open in his department.

Fast forward a month or so.  The director stopped by my desk to let me know that the position had been posted.  I took this as a good sign.  But I also knew that there would be other candidates, likely candidates he knew from previous companies.  I’ve missed out on job offers more than once because the hiring manager already knew someone/had a candidate in mind.  It happens often.  I applied right away and had to let my current boss know.  I explained that I was simply pursing an opportunity in a department I was really interested in.  He told me he was supportive, but that he felt he needed to let his bosses know.  This was disappointing.  I basically knew that I would never receive a promotion in my current role, but even if there was a slight chance, applying for a new position would be the end of that.  I knew they’d see me pursing the opportunity as disloyal and I had no future with my current group.

A week or so later, I hadn’t heard anything about a potential interview and I was nervous.  There was one particular day in which I had meetings scheduled from 8am - 4:30pm straight.  I didn’t even have time for lunch.  My boss sent a meeting request and I knew it wouldn’t work since I was booked.  I opened his calendar, which I have access to, to reschedule.  And there it was – he was interviewing another candidate for the same position (it’s common for several departments/groups to interview one candidate).  My stomach dropped.  I knew I had applied right away.  I had not received an interview request.  My boss told me he was supportive of me pursuing the position and here he was interviewing my competition?  Surely there was another manager who could conduct the interview?  I was heartbroken.

A few days later, I did receive an interview request.  I honestly thought someone was just being nice.  I thought the first candidate had the job and that’s why the company had been keen on getting her in right away.  My interviews seemed to go well, but it was definitely awkward being interviewed by my colleagues, all of whom I knew.  I gave it my all and pointed out why I’d be best for the job.  That while I may not have the most experience of the potential candidates, I knew the company, products, systems, and processes better than anyone.  I explained that for a person to be successful in this role, I thought it was essential to collaborate with different departments.  I could definitely do that and I pointed out examples in which I’d successfully collaborated with various groups to complete projects.  I explained that I’d wanted to be in this role for 2 years and had been waiting for an opportunity.  The company had been promoting career development and this was the perfect opportunity to make a real life example out of a focus area.  I really put everything on the table so to speak – I didn’t want to leave feeling like I could’ve and should’ve said more.

I had a meeting with the director to discuss my project a week later.  I definitely wasn’t going to bring up the job, but it was obviously on my mind.  There’s that expression – the “elephant in the room”.  This felt like two elephants in the room.  At the end of the meeting, he told me he wanted to let me know that they were interviewing more candidates, but I was still being considered.  I wasn’t sure what to think.  If they wanted me, wouldn’t they have offered me the job and not continued to interview other candidates?

Another week passed and the director sent me a message about the project.  He was super nice and being the overly analytical person that I am, I scrutinized the message.  Was he being too nice?  Weren’t people too nice when they planned on delivering bad news??  I asked A this very question and he replied that yes, sometimes people were nice when they were about to deliver bad news.  My poor husband… I was looking for answers and he was trying his best.  My coworker sent me a meme about being denied a job.  At this point, I had convinced myself it wasn’t happening and I think I had convinced others as well.

Another week.  I had to reschedule another meeting with current boss.  And there again on his calendar, another candidate, another interview.  Why no one thought to make these private meetings (as in not visible to anyone else), I have no idea.  And I hardly ever view my boss’ calendar.  At this point, 3 weeks had passed since my interview, more candidates were coming in, and I was sure I wasn’t being offered the position.

And then the Friday before Memorial Day, I received a message from Talent Acquisition asking if I was available to discuss the position.  What did that mean??  Don’t people usually get fired on Fridays??  Could the most recent candidate already have accepted the job?  Is that what they were going to tell me?  Would that even come from Talent Acquisition or the hiring director? Was it possible I was going to receive good news?  I had to wait on pins and needles for an hour!

I was offered the job!!  I accepted and I start July 1!!

This was the biggest emotional roller coaster ever for a job.  Especially one that constitutes a lateral move!!  But in the end, I’m so excited and appreciative for a new opportunity!  I know it won't be all sunshine and rainbows, there will be challenges along the way, but I'm so excited for a change.

Had I been promoted previously or accepted another offer, this job wouldn’t even have been a consideration.  So maybe, just maybe, all of this unfolded as it should have?  Or maybe it’s one big coincidence. J

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