An Ill Friend and a Lesson

I’m still trying to wrap my head around what happened yesterday.

First a little confession: I’m not always the friendliest person.  I try to be nice and pleasant, but I don’t always say good morning to my colleagues as I walk by their offices or goodnight as I leave for the day.  I’m certainly not the most outgoing person.  Sometimes I’m just focused on getting to my desk and answering those waiting emails or beginning my work for the day.  Not any more…

Yesterday, I was getting ready to leave for the day.  I waited on my colleague, Katie, so she could gather her belongings and we could walk out of the office together.  On our way out, we peeked into a friend’s office to say goodbye.  He was slumped over with his hand on his head.  We asked if he was alright and he said that he was dizzy and had been vomiting.  I told him he should give our boss, who happens to be a doctor, a call.  My ill colleague looked at me, a bit confused, a bit disoriented, he had trouble responding.  I knew/had a feeling that something was seriously wrong at that point.  Katie and I found the doctor quickly and he went to check on our friend.  The doctor came out a couple minutes later and asked that we call 911.  Luckily, the fire station is within walking distance and the paramedics were on site quickly.  Another colleague directed the paramedics to our offices and I held the door while they carried in their equipment.  They asked for privacy and Katie and I headed home.  When I arrived home, I texted another colleague (who is very good friends with our ill friend – they were in each other’s weddings and have worked together for several years).  He was headed to the hospital and told me he’d let me know what he found out.  Soon after I received a phone call.  Our friend had suffered a brain hemorrhage.  An MRI (or maybe a CT? – I’m not sure) showed bleeding at the base of the brain.  My good friend is still in ICU, but I hear that he is alert, talking, and even cracking jokes – I can’t imagine him any other way.  He’ll be meeting with a neurologist today and will hopefully he’ll get some answers.

It’s just sinking in how serious this situation was.   At first, the medical staff suspected a stroke.  I overheard a colleague saying that they had prepared his mom for the worst and that she broke down in tears.  Hearing this made me cry.  I’ve known my friend for 10 years.  I was in his office yesterday for a long time talking about houses (he happens to also be my realtor).  He came to my neighborhood on Sunday to show me a house.  He’s in his early 40’s.  Way too young for something like this to happen.

I’m so thankful that a doctor was just down the hallway.

So here’s a little lesson (for myself)… take the time to say hello and goodbye, check in with your friends/coworkers/neighbors.  Checking up on someone could make all the difference.

Weekend Recap

We had another great weekend!

On Friday, I met A and W (haha, that’s a brand of root beer) at a local Mexican restaurant.  W was surprisingly well behaved – I had previously sworn off all dinner outings, but this time, he was a really good boy!  After some nachos, quesadillas, and taquitos, we were stuffed.  Also I was wishing my boys had picked me up so I could enjoy a margarita!  Next time! ;)  And the night was topped off by our Blackhawks winning!  Woohoo!

Saturday was a routine doctor’s appointment for W.  Big guy is in the 50^th-75^th percentile for weight and height.  He got 2 shots and cried for much of the time.  Can’t say I blame him.  A and I attended an open house.  We liked the house, but we didn’t love it so I don’t think we’ll pursue it.  We then went to my aunt and uncle’s house to discuss our upcoming family reunion (we’re planning it this year) and have a yummy dinner.

Sunday was church.  We got to see our friends and the twin babies.  And W was really good for the most part.  A and I picked up Starbucks.  We cleaned the house.  W destroyed the house.   Our Hawks won again, advancing to the next round of the playoffs.  I made a fettuccini chicken dish for dinner (it was ok) and we walked through another house.  This house was a definite no.  It was really cute and directly across from a park, but the rooms were too small.  I have to say, I kind of love walking through houses.  I love seeing the layout of the property and other people’s decorating tastes.

That was it.  All in all a great weekend.

 

Cutest Hawks fan ever!

 

 

Gripity, Gripe, Gripe

This is about to turn into a gripe fest and I know I'm going to sound whiny so sorry in advance.

1.  I've been trying to work on the same report for 2 days at work and I haven't gotten to it because I've been responding to countless emails and questions.  I think I'm actually going insane and I don't understand how the same people are coming up with a bajillion questions... I mean they can't be getting any work done if all they're doing is asking me how to do things?!?  These tasks should not be that difficult...  And I did not become a teacher for a reason several reasons.  I don't know how my husband does it.

2.  W woke up 3 times last night and I have no idea why, but it was brutal.  I was doing ok until after lunch.  Then it was all downhill and I'm about to crawl under my desk and hide from questions.... also I might as well take a nap while I'm down there.

3.  I follow a few different blogs.  They are mostly mommy blogs with a couple infertility blogs thrown in.  I've read quite a few instances of moms who claim they're just not ready for another baby for reasons x, y, and z.  And then a month or two months later they're announcing a pregnancy.  This drives me crazy for a few reasons (I know it shouldn't - it's not like I KNOW them).  How can you not be ready and then all of a sudden you are?  Did you win the lottery?  Did you receive a major promotion?  What changed?  I.don't.get.it.  Also, I'm jealous/envious that people get pregnant so quickly.  It takes me 3 months to schedule and prepare for IVF and then it doesn't work.... so it could take me years to get pregnant.  So mommy bloggers, do us all a favor and don't tell us you're not ready to be pregnant if you're fertile and trying.  It's really annoying.

4.  Work is hazardous to my health.  There are always cookies, cupcakes, and treats.  And I have no willpower.  And I hate my body right now.  Ugh.

5.  I leave for San Francisco in 2 weeks.  You might think I'm looking forward to site seeing or a good night's sleep.  I am.  But the thing I'm most looking forward to... setting my work email auto reply message that indicates I will not be responding to any emails until I return.  I.cannot.wait.

 6.  I have big plans to do an entire post on Easter, which includes several photos and I'll probably never get to it.  I suck at photos.  Mainly because I have to put a darn watermark on every single one so no one does anything inappropriate with pictures of my sweet man.  People suck.

7.  Yesterday as I was driving home, I kept thinking about the house that wasn't.  I'm still sad.  I feel like someone stole our house.  I know we're not in a hurry to move, but I'm so impatient and I still feel like that house was meant for us.  Boo.

W is 16 Months Old

Happy 16 months, W!  You turned 16 months on Easter. J

This month has been SO much fun!  The weather is FINALLY warming up and we’re spending more and more time outside.  You absolutely love being outside and cry when we come in.  You’re usually a very happy guy and it seems that you learn something new every day.  You know at least 50 words now and can follow instructions.  You say: mama, dada, up, down, duck, stick, truck, amen, uh oh, ball, bowl, and basketball.  You’ve said car, Addie, puffs, and a few other words, but have only said these once or twice.  You also say can – as in can of pop (dat), vacuum (googoo? I’m not sure what exactly you say, but you say it consistently and very often), and you have a very distinct sound for clock, but I’m not counting these because they are really hard to make out.  You point at EVERYTHING and want to know the name of it.  You love pointing to each and every basketball hoop while we’re out for walks.  This month, you started taking a music class with Nani and we went on our first zoo trip of the year.  We also visited dad’s class and you had your first official hair cut (you hated every minute of it).  You love watching Jeopardy and your favorite things to do lately include playing with the vacuums, running, playing with Grandma G’s cats, and throwing balls down the stairs (as well as several other items that you get in trouble for i.e. cars, Legos, vacuums, your ride on dog, toy boat, socks, hats, etc).  You still love Pete the Cat.  You often get compliments of your red hair and cute outfits (mom will take credit for your stylish wardrobe;)).  You’ve gotten quite independent recently and aren’t afraid to walk around the places you’re familiar with (church, grocery store).  My favorite month to date!

Happiness is... W

I have so much on my mind…  The weekend was wonderful and I would typically do a recap, but I want to  talk about W and how wonderful he is.  I know all moms think their children are fabulous and they absolutely are.  Children are such an amazing blessing.  Sure, they are challenging and frustrating at times, but the sweet moments make up for those difficult times (remind me of this when I’m in the throes of terrible twos).  I’m so incredibly grateful to have W in my life.  I’m so grateful God chose me to be his mom and I remind myself every single day how fortunate I am.  W is a miraculous gift.

I truly believe that W could change the world if he wanted to.  He has this amazing positive effect on people.  To know W is to love W.  I was reminded of this several times this weekend…

I took Friday off so W and I could spend the day together.  I had chosen Friday awhile ago and it worked out perfectly.  The weather was the warmest it’s been all year (as I type, we currently have snow on the ground).  I decided we would go on our first zoo trip of the year.  We had a blast.  The monkeys and the meerkats were W’s favorite and he actually started to cry as we left the meerkats and headed toward another exhibit. 

I had this perfect plan – we’d go to the zoo, W would sleep during the nearly 1 hour ride home, and then we’d visit A’s class.  Well, W had other plans and did not sleep at all.  I debated whether or not we should still visit A at school.  I ultimately decided to go.  If W fell asleep on the way there, we’d visit another time and if W got too cranky, we’d just head home.

We arrived and W was awesome.  My typically shy around people he doesn’t know boy walked around the classroom, played ball with the students, and pointed out the clock.  Several students in other classrooms wanted to meet W and we made the rounds.  The students LOVED him.  But my favorite part was the interaction with the autistic students.  Now, I don’t know very much about autism.  What I do know is that many autistic students thrive on consistency and W being there could have easily set them off.  We met one student who came up to W and played peek-a-boo with him.  W proceeded to laugh and smile at the boy.  They both seemed to enjoy each other’s company.  Another boy we met in the hallway.  A explained that W was his son and the boy repeated “my son”.  After that, whenever we saw the boy, he would say “my son”.  It was really cute and heartwarming.  There was another girl who apparently had little confidence and broke down from time to time.  But she had no problem playing with W, talking to him, and offering toys.  She even told me she was great with kids – no lack of confidence whatsoever.  She was very sweet with W.

Here’s the thing I picked up on (and again – admittedly, I’m one of those moms who thinks her kid is the best)… W could have been incredibly cranky.  We were at the zoo for 2 hours and in the car for another 2 hours.  With NO nap.  But W was perfect.  He brought joy to so many of those kids.  He brings so much happiness to nearly everyone he meets.  And another thing – I think he was perfect for the kids.  A explained to me that some lacked self-esteem and doubted themselves.  Not around W.  They had no problem at all interacting with him.  There’s something  special about a toddler – they view the world with innocent eyes.  They do not judge.  They do not criticize.  They laugh at a simple game of peek-a-boo.  They do not have high expectations or prejudice.  And I think W made some of those students’ days.

I was reminded of this 2 days later, but with the other end of the spectrum…. We’ve been attending church as a family since W was 10 days old.  We love seeing our church friends every week.  Lately, A or I spends most of church in the lobby with W.  He gets tired of sitting and wants to explore.  Well, this Sunday, we were getting ready to leave after a long Palm Sunday mass when I turned around and saw W in the arms of an elderly man.  He was talking to W and W was content.  Typically, W would be crying, reaching for A or me.  But he was fine being held by the older man and the older man had the biggest smile.  So darn cute.  And another example of W bringing happiness…. To young and old and everyone in between.  I love my boy so much.

Reeling

This is my space and I should be able to write whatever I want.  But at the same time, I don’t want to say anything I’ll regret or offend anyone.  So I’ll just say this:

If you have news to share, an important event, something life changing to disclose, then you should tell your close friends and family first.  Have the decency to tell them in person or via telephone.  They don’t deserve to find out via social media.  Social media announcements are impersonal and inconsiderate and should be reserved for acquaintances - most certainly NOT the appropriate means for sharing news with your immediate family.  Seriously.  Not acceptable.  Ever.

I’m still hurt.  I’m still upset.

Weekend Recap

This weekend got off to a rocky start, but turned out fabulous.

Friday, we were supposed to go to a fish fry at our church.  I was to meet my mom, A, and W there after work.  I arrived and the line was incredibly long to get in.  My mom suggested I call A and tell him to meet us at another local restaurant.  We just weren’t sure how long it would take to get into the church fish fry and W isn’t exactly patient.

So A and W arrived at the restaurant and W was just not happy.  He didn’t want to sit in the high chair, didn’t want to eat anything, and just cried.  He definitely made a scene.  When he finally settled, I went and got some soup and salad.  I attempted to open the lid of the big soup crock and the entire lid fell into the pot of soup.  Lovely.  I tried to put the lid back on, but it seemed to be the wrong size?  So I set it on top of the crock.  (I should also mention, there was no room to set the lid on the table)  I ladled my soup and returned the ladle to the crock.  The ladle barely grazed the lid that was resting on top, and the metal lid went flying off, clanking all the way, until it shot off the back end of the table.  I’m telling you, that thing was possessed.  I apologized to the waitress and returned to my seat where W immediately spit up all over the place.  Perfect.  I’m pretty sure, we can never return to that place.  It was embarrassing, awkward, frustrating, and a host of other feelings.  I actually suggested we leave, but dinner had already been ordered. :\  My mom reminded me that W was usually really good and I shouldn’t expect him to be perfect all the time.  He was a toddler acting like a toddler.  Of course she’s right.  Suffices to say, we’ll be eating dinner at home this Friday.

Luckily Saturday was much better.  The weather was nice and we were able to get outside for two walks.  A and I got our taxes done and even squeezed in a lunch outing.  I love when the two of us can enjoy a meal together.  It very rarely happens (once every 3 months?), but when it does, it’s bliss.  We also discovered a foreclosed home in our neighborhood that has lots of potential.  It isn’t listed yet so we know nothing about it, but it makes me hopeful.

Sunday was church, Starbucks, grocery shopping, and another walk.  I also made a yummy dinner.  I think that’s going to be my new thing on Sunday – make a delicious dinner with lots of leftovers that we can finish off during the week.

W was awesome this weekend.  He’s been so silly/funny lately and he’s picking up lots of words.  He now says uh oh, ball and bowl (which sound the same), stick, truck, and duck (which all sound like duck), and he said car this morning.  I love it.  Also yesterday, I may have seen a spider and freaked out.  I HATE spiders.  W started mimicking my screaming and laughing at me.  J

Reflecting on the house that wasn’t…

I’m still bummed.  I don’t think we’ll be able to find another house in the same vicinity.  One that is in our price range, will allow us to build a fence, has the perfect color scheme, and a bar in the basement….  I had already started envisioning where the Christmas tree would go.  Sad, but true.  When I found out that we were preapproved, I got my hopes up.  And I couldn’t help thinking “How often do you find a house in which you wouldn’t change a single thing?  Every room was painted with the perfect colors to match our furniture.  It’s even right near a park.  It was meant to be.”  Except it wasn’t meant to be for us – it was meant to be for someone else. :*(

I sent A this email and it made me feel a little better…  “Most things don’t work out for us the first time around, however, in the end, they turn out just right.  Examples: Our first round of IVF was an epic fail.  The second time around, we got W and it’s pretty darn obvious to everyone that he’s perfect.  Our townhouse.  We made an offer on the other townhouse.  It didn’t work out and we ended up with ours, which I think is much better than the first one.  My first car.  Lemon.  Enough said.  I really love my CRV.  Parenting.  Our first (fur) baby is crazy.  Our second baby is much better behaved (ok, I threw that in to make you laugh).

The only thing we got right the first time around was marriage.”

So I’m trying to have faith that we’ll find our perfect house eventually.  Even if I am really sad and disappointed and can’t imagine finding something better…

On the bright side, I know we qualify for a loan.  We’ll have more time to save up.  We’ll have more time to become educated on renting our townhouse (still very nervous about that).  We’ll have more time to pay down our existing mortgage.  Sigh. L

Goodbye dream house

Annnd just like that someone made an offer on the house we wanted.  I'm extremely disappointed.  I absolutely feel like this would have been a perfect house for us and we were prepared to make an offer.  I guess it wasn't meant to be and I'm trying to tell myself that something better will come along.  Still really sad. :( :(