W Says

I just can’t get enough of the funny things W says lately.  Almost makes up for him not sleeping or eating anything… almost.  He talks about himself in the third person, which is really cute.  My favorite W sayings:

Throws a ball and yells, “Homerun!”.

“W need socks.  W’s piggies get cold.”

Nearly every day, with much enthusiasm, he tells A, “Happy Birthday, Daddy!  Daddy’s birthday!”.

Me: “What should Mommy make out of Play Doh?”

W: “Hippopotamus!!”

W was refusing to nap last week.  It's a regular occurrence, but I knew he was tired.  So I decided the boys and I would hit the Starbucks drive thru and maybe, just maybe, W would fall asleep.  As we headed home, W looked sleepy so I decided to take the long way through our neighborhood hoping he'd close his eyes.  Seemed like a brilliant idea until I heard a little voice say, "Wrong way! Wrong way, mommy!" from the back seat.  He's too smart for me.

And finally, not funny, but it is adorable.  "W hold Baby S?"

Who Will They Be?

One of the things I enjoy most about being a parent is observing the boys’ evolving personalities.  A and I often talk about what the boys will be like as young adults and we love to speculate on what their interests will be.  Now that S is here, it’s impossible not to compare him with W.

W is my serious one.  He’s an observer and a thinker.  He’s a problem solver and I’ve always said he’ll be my engineer someday.  He understands cause and effect.  He’s also very caring, concerned, and passionate, worrying about others.  W can be very sensitive and takes things personally.  I used to describe him as laid back and for the most part he still is, but he can also be very shy and cautious when experiencing a new situation or new people and he doesn’t seem to handle change very well.  A thinks W will not be athletic, but I disagree.

I know S is only 2 months old and his personality will continue to emerge, but there are a couple traits that already stand out.  S is my social one.  At 2 months, he’s very quick to smile and not at all particular about who he smiles at.  If you talk to him, you’ll be the recipient of one of his impressive smiles.  And when he smiles, his entire face lights up.  He loves to carry on “conversations” with anyone and everyone.  He can be a bit dramatic and impatient – if a bottle is not available when he wants it, he will let you know that he is not happy.  He’ll even continue to “yell” at you after a bottle is produced just to make sure you know that he is not pleased. J  When I was pregnant, I said he’d be my wild child and I have a feeling that may hold true for my social butterfly.

No matter what personality characteristics these boys possess or what their interests are, we’ll love them just the same.  They are unique and perfect in every way. J  In the words of Dr. Seuss, “Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.”

Lack of Focus

Do you ever feel like you have a million things to do, a million thoughts, but you can’t really focus on any one thing?  That’s how I feel right now.  Like there are so many tasks I need to do at work, but I don’t know where to start and the 50 minute sexual harassment mandatory training just doesn’t seem like a priority (and it probably never will so I should just do it already).  I also had so many topics I planned to write about and now my mind is blank.  I can’t think of one single interesting thing.  I’m assuming my inability to concentrate is the result of having two little boys who require so much attention... sometimes it’s hard to put that mommy mindset on hold and focus on work/adult matters.  For some reason, I’ve just felt “off” the past couple days and I’m not sure why.  Yesterday, I found that an entire bag of breast milk spilled (tragic), burned W’s bagel, and overcooked the breakfast sausage all within a five minute span.  I've been dropping everything I get my hands on.  Today, I forgot my wallet, which normally wouldn’t be a problem.  But naturally, today I was supposed to give a tip after my massage and pick up dinner on the way home.  I felt like such a snob typing massage. :)  Did I mention work is now offering free massages?  So relaxing!  Thankfully, a coworker covered the tip for me so I didn’t miss out on that benefit!  Anyway, since I’m practically incoherent, I’m just going to add some cute recent pics of the boys and call this post complete.  Sorry for that rambling mess.

P.S.  Can you tell that we’re pretty excited about this year’s Cubs team?

Friday Thoughts

A had CF Clinic on Tuesday.  I was able to attend for the first time in a year!  We brought baby S with us so we could introduce him to the clinic team.  The appointment went pretty well and baby S was perfect.  A’s lung function was down slightly so his doctor wants him to return in 2 months as opposed to the usual 3 months.  We’re not overly concerned at this point.  A’s lung function was assessed right after he arrived – right after carrying a very heavy baby S from the parking lot to the doctor’s office, which is quite a trek.  That would definitely affect my breathing!  W also had had a rough night.  So hoping for good results at the next appointment.  On the bright side, A’s maintaining his weight.  On the not so bright side, it was around this time last year that A got sick and was admitted to the hospital.  Definitely an all-time low for me and I’m scared of that happening again.  A assures me he feels great.

S at 2 months weighs as much as W at 5 months.  That blows my mind.

 We’re considering taking a trip with both boys this summer.  I know… we’re crazy.  Even crazier?  A plans to drive to Maryland with ALL the stuff while I fly with the boys.  We haven’t decided for sure if we’ll go.  I love spending time with my aunt and uncle and W always has a blast swimming in the pool, running around the yard, and going on adventures.  At 2, he’s been to the National Zoo, a couple of the Smithsonian museums, and a Washington Nationals vs. Cubs baseball game.  Neat, right?  But now that S is here, traveling is much more difficult.  The thought of flying with both boys gives me major anxiety.

W has given up naps for the most part even though I think he still needs them.  He’s usually cranky by dinner time.  And so am I. J  He also refuses to eat mostly everything.  Lately his diet consists of bagels, pizza, and chicken nuggets.  No bueno.  I’m not sure how to convince him to nap or eat.  Stubborn little man!  He still wakes up at night most nights and hops out of bed.  He’s got to be tired!

S officially sleeps better than W.  That’s right… my 2 month old sleeps better than my 2 year old.  S has been sleeping 7-8 hours, waking for a bottle, and going back to sleep for another 2 hours.

W continues to grow and learn at lightning speed.  He now counts to 10!!  He uses adjectives when describing things and uses “too” correctly.  He recalls what he had for lunch, how he spent the day, and tells me that he thinks grandma’s cats are eating cocoa puffs (that’s what we call Addie’s food).  I swear he started talking in complete sentences overnight and he chatters away these days.  It still amazes me.  I was so worried about his speech.  Not anymore.  He also walks up and down the stairs unassisted.  It scares me every time.

And finally, Go Blackhawks!!

Work / Life

Since returning to work and getting to experience what I thought would be the ideal work schedule, things have been… ideal… for the most part.  I love working part time and getting to spend non work days with the boys.  It’s the perfect balance that I thought it would be and I wish I could continue to work part time.  Sure there have been challenges.  Even though I’m only working two days per week right now, my work load hasn’t really changed.  So I’m essentially trying to cram five days into two.  That’s been tough and I’ve had to prioritize tasks and decline meetings.  Last Thursday I had five meetings.  Five.  Talk about a crazy day!  But even though work days are extremely busy and jam packed, I enjoy them.  I like being busy.  The days fly by.  And when the work day is done, I look forward to getting home and seeing my boys.  And did I mention my company now offers free massages as it encourages “employee health and wellness”?  What?!?  You better believe I signed up for one.  I’m pretty excited.

In terms of time management, the days are challenging and I’m still trying to figure out how to make the most of my time with the boys and still get to bed at a decent hour.  It doesn’t help that W has given up naps for the most part.  I prepare bottles, wash pump parts, make my lunch, decide on clothes, and anything else I can do ahead of time on the day prior to work.  The days I work, I usually don’t arrive home until 5:30 (or later).  We often order food these nights or grill out – something quick because there just isn’t any time to prepare a meal.  And I certainly have not mastered frozen meals.  Maybe someday…  Work mornings are also tough because obviously there’s a baby to care for now.  Although he’s pretty easy, he needs to be fed and I need to pump, which adds about 40ish minutes to my morning routine.  Somehow we’re managing and I usually arrive to work at a decent time… except for today.  A major accident closed the highway I was on.  Ugh.

When I returned to work after having W, W was sleeping through the night.  I now have 2 who don’t sleep through the night.  That can make for a long day.  I’m tired.  But I remind myself that this is temporary.  A also helps tremendously during the night – he walks W back to bed when he wakes in the night and he often feeds S while I pump.  We just had our first night in which both boys slept through the night… maybe there’s hope?

So all this to say I’m really happy.  Tired, but happy.  I love the work/life balance I currently have.  I’m happy I decided to return to work part time and grateful that my company allowed me to do so.  It will be tough when I have to resume working full time.  I’ll miss the boys like crazy.  So I’m going to enjoy this temporary arrangement while it lasts. J

Easter 2015

It occurred to me that I never did a post on Easter.

The boys were too cute for words and naturally, I couldn't get a photo of them together.  We visited the Easter Bunny on Saturday and enjoyed a very crowded Easter mass followed by brunch at Nani and Papa's on Sunday.  The weather was great.  W had tons of fun searching for eggs hidden outside of Nani and Papa's house, the food was amazing (although W only ate jello), and I was spent by the end of the day.  Our Easter...

Baby S is 2 Months Old

S turned 2 months on Easter Sunday. He weighs 15lbs, 7.5oz.  Holy. Moly.  In keeping with tradition, his 2 month post...

Dear S,

Happy 2 months, big guy!

This month you started smiling lots more and "talking".  When you smile, your entire face lights up... So cute!  You've begun to follow objects and voices and you seem to enjoy swatting at the hippos on your activity mat.  You sleep anywhere from 5-7 hours at night, have a bottle, and then sleep another 3 hours.  Thank you for this!  You've now waking in a completely different position than where you started, turning yourself throughout the night.  You're in 3-6 mo clothing and size 2 diapers.

We've spent lots of time outside this past month and even visited daddy at work.  You went to the children's museum, had a play date with your cousins, and we've been on several lunch dates.  We celebrated St. Pat's day and Easter.  Mom also returned to work part time.

You're still a very content baby for the most part, but when you're hungry, we have about 5 seconds to find you a bottle or you make your displeasure known.  You still love baths and love to be held.  You also like to be talked to.  You're an incredibly sweet guy and give out lots of smiles. :)  Your brother continues to adore you, always concerned about Baby S.

Happy 2 months! You are our everything and more!!

Return to Work

I’m baaaack!  To work that is.  So strange to think the last time I sat at my desk, I was (extremely) pregnant.

I definitely teared up as I said goodbye to the boys this morning.  And I’m really nervous about how grandma is coping.  I have such mixed emotions about my return.  On one hand, I’m ready.  Ready to get out of the house, ready to get caught up at work, ready for adult decisions and conversations.  I know that I’m not cut out to be a stay at home mom and maternity leave confirmed my feelings.  But I also think the boys and I were getting into a great routine.  W is talking like crazy.  And although he can be hard to understand, I comprehend most of what he’s saying.  I’m his interpreter.  And S.  My sweet baby boy.  I’ve become a pro at swaddling him and I can decipher his different cries.

Above all, the most difficult thing about returning to work is knowing that I CAN return to work because my “newborn” is 8 weeks old today.  I’m having a really hard time with that.  He’s supposed to be my new baby and I have no idea where the time has gone.  It’s killing me.

BUT for the time being, I’ll get to experience what I think is the ideal work situation… working part time and being with my boys for the remainder of the time (at least until I work my way back up to full time status in May).  I’m excited to find out if the arrangement really is “ideal” or if it’s not at all what I expected.

As I was leaving the house, still a bit teary, my song for W came on the radio.  This song served as encouragement after our first failed IVF.  And then when I was pregnant with W and worried about my baby boy, concerned about his health, looking for confirmation that he was ok, this song would come on.  Jason Mraz’s “I Won’t Give Up” will always hold a special place in my heart.  It became my source of comfort.  “I Won’t Give Up” was my reminder that the baby boy I had endured IVF for, planned for, wanted so badly was going to be ok.  “I Won’t Give Up” always came on the radio when I needed the reassurance most.  I tell W that it’s our song.

'Cause even the stars they burn
Some even fall to the earth
We've got a lot to learn
God knows we're worth it
No, I won't give up

I won't give up on us
Even if the skies get rough
I'm giving you all my love
I'm still looking up, I'm still looking up.

So naturally, when it came on the radio this morning, I cried.  And thanked God for His support.  I also took it as a sign that I made the right decision to return to work early and gradually work up to full time as opposed to taking an extra four weeks and starting at full time immediately upon my return.

As if that weren’t enough, Jimmy Eat World’s “The Middle” came on next.  “The Middle” was my college anthem.  A reminder that I was going to get through all those tough classes, graduate, and everything would be ok.  At the time, college life was SO DRAMATIC and hard and intense.  Ha.  If only I could go back in time and smack my college self…  Anyway, “The Middle” was my source of comfort and I couldn’t believe that these two meaningful songs were on the radio back to back as I was leaving the house.

It just takes some time
Little girl, you're in the middle of the ride
Everything, everything will be just fine
Everything, everything will be all right

So here’s to getting back into the swing of things, making the most of my temporary part time schedule, and being 30 pounds lighter (holla!). J