I love that FB shows memories from a specific date for past
years. I always find myself reminiscing
and I’m awed by how little my boys once were and how much they’ve grown in a
short time. I'm also embarrassed by how many posts start with "C is going..." or "C is doing...". Why did I talk about myself in third person??
Anyway.
FB recently reminded me that I left my second real job 5
years ago. It was a job I loathed and
I’m still bitter about some of my experiences there.
I took the job because I believed it would allow me to learn
a lot more about drug products and their associated test methods. It was for a much, much bigger company
regarded as one of the top places to work.
I also thought it would provide many opportunities for growth along the
way. I quickly learned that while this
may be true for some, it was certainly not the case for me.
The job I came from (my first real job) was very much
research and development driven. The
work was interesting and changed daily.
I loved the team I worked with and they pushed me to learn more and do
more. I grew so much in a short
period of time. But the company itself
was very, very small and only specialized in a narrow field of the
pharmaceutical industry. I knew that in
order to progress, I needed to leave.
Enter big pharma and my most miserable job experience
ever. From the start, the work was
incredibly boring. Every day consisted
of the same routine test methods. I was
assigned to a specific project and that was it.
There was never an opportunity to work on another project or a different
test method, experiencing something new.
It was the same monotonous work day in and day out. There were a few improvement type teams to
join, but they were still related to the laboratory and department.
And the people. I
made some friends and stuck with that group.
But many of my colleagues were minions, happy to do the same
thing over and over again. People who
would be content staying at the same company, doing the same repetitious work
for a lifetime. And these same people
got promoted because they had been at the company so darn long and were so
“experienced”, but the majority lacked any real managerial skills.
My “goals” were never actually my own, but company
goals. It was all about expanding the
business and continuing to do your job, never thinking outside of the box. I realize that it IS a business, a profitable
business at that, and expanding the business is important and necessary, but
not at the expense of employee growth.
[In related news, this company has not developed any of its own drugs in
quite some time despite having a drug discovery group. Their blockbuster drug is the result of an
acquisition. Go figure.]
After a year of misery, I approached my manager and
explained that I was interested in staying within the pharma industry, but
perhaps would be a better fit for a different department. She told me that she would support me, but it
was very clear that her “support” meant that I’d have to find my own way
out. I scheduled meetings with managers
in other departments I was interested in and applied to a certificate program
and then a graduate program. Luckily,
the company had tuition reimbursement – one of the few perks I was able to take
advantage of. I kept my boss informed
along the way, but there was never any effort made in actually giving me work
related to the fields I was interested in and studying. The mindset was that I was still a scientist
and my job would always be in the laboratory as long as I stayed in the
department.
My “friends” suggested that I was the problem. That I wouldn’t be happy anywhere and that I
was just a complainer. I knew
differently. I knew I really liked my
first job and that I just didn’t fit in here.
I needed work that was challenging and interesting. Work that involved strategy and insight and
allowed me to utilize my writing skills instead of following the same
procedures day in and day out. Funny –
those “friends” stopped inviting me to gatherings and belittled me after I
left.
The lowest point came from a conversation in an elevator (of
all places). A colleague told me that
he’d be training me to work in the controlled drug lab. Wait, what?
I had zero interest in learning more laboratory practices and my manager
certainly hadn’t mentioned anything to me.
When I approached her, she confirmed that it was true. I was being groomed to work with controlled
substances. How very professional for me
to hear of my new career path through small talk in an elevator. When I asked why I was selected for this
training, seeing as it had nothing to do with my interests or studies and would
actually push me further away from my goals, I was told it was because management knew I could do it.
I went home that night and sobbed. I’ve never felt so stuck in a job and so
hopeless. Quitting was not an
option. For one, it’s not my nature to
give up and give in. That’s just not
me. And two, A had recently completed
student teaching (an unpaid stint) and was now working as a teaching assistant
(a very low paying stint). We were
newlyweds with a new mortgage and plenty of bills. We needed my income in order to pay for our
house and necessities.
Luckily, a short time later, after applying for nearly 100
jobs, I finally landed a new one. This
was during the time when the economy was absolutely awful and jobs were
extremely difficult to come by. The new
job paid exactly the same as my current position, but I was desperate to get
out and didn’t care that there would be no pay increase. The problem?
I’d have to pay back the $9000 I had racked up in tuition while pursuing my graduate certificate. It was ironic – I needed the classes to get
the new job, but I didn’t have the $9000 that would allow me to leave my
current job. And that’s when my mom came
to my rescue. She knew how unhappy I was
and offered to pay my tuition, letting me know that I could pay her back
whenever I had the funds. She wouldn’t
allow me stay at a position I despised any longer.
Since then, I’ve enjoyed the jobs I’ve had. This month, I’ll celebrate 4 years with my
current company. A company that has also
been named as one of the top places to work and is actually deserving of the
title. I still can’t figure out how the
previous company achieved that honor? I
can only assume other departments were more fulfilling or that the survey was
taken by those in the highest level positions.
I know that in the 3 long years I was there, I was never once asked
about job satisfaction.
I’m thankful to be where I’m at today (even if it means I
haven’t gotten to Ireland ;)). Working
for a company that challenges me, offers flexibility, has very knowledgeable,
genuine employees, and pays twice as much as that previous job. Live and learn… and thank you for saving me
at one of my lowest points, mom! J