Catching up and unfriending

Wow, it’s been awhile since I posted anything and so much has happened I don’t even know where to begin!  We celebrated W’s first birthday and Christmas, enjoyed lots of family time, took W to an Illini basketball game, and there was even a Facebook brawl thrown in.  Sigh.  Facebook – can’t live with it, can’t live without it.  Anyway.  I want to recap ALL of it!  But there’s way too much to cover in one post.  I should probably go in chronological order and unfortunately I think the FB brawl happened first.

I really don’t want to talk about it, but I think I will in an attempt to clear it from my mind.  One of the main purposes of this blog is for me to get things off my mind and put them somewhere else.  I’m the type of person who thinks about things way too much, overanalyzes situations and circumstances until they can’t possibly be analyzed anymore, scrutinizes every last detail.  I don’t forget emotional encounters easily and I am a pro when it comes to holding a grudge.  So even though this little situation should be done and over, I still find myself thinking about it every now and then.  Hopefully discussing it here will be the final chapter – the conclusion.

 

Remember when I said I had friends who recently announced they were expecting twins?  I was disappointed because I found out on FB.  Then I was disappointed because the wife (mom of twins) unfriended me.  I know, I know, I shouldn’t care.  But I did.  Because I take friendships seriously.  Because I thought we were better friends and I was hurt.  

 

In the meantime, I had a couple FB posts about friendship - nothing contentious.  Just that I was disappointed about losing friends and I posted on what friendship meant to me.

So I was at a cookie exchange when my dear husband posted this on FB: “If you've ever read any of my status updates (only a few people have) you know I usually write about the awful sports teams I follow, or the cryptic messages about people who aren't Christian, but celebrate Christmas... Ugh... But let me be serious for a little bit... Blocking or "un-friending" someone because they're sharing their joy is crap. It's not boasting, or bragging, or gloating or rubbing it in (believe me, she'll save that for when she beats me in our fantasy football championship). It's simply sharing our joy with you. Believe me, he's worth sharing. I hope you share all of the joys life offers you... Ok, back to what I usually do... For those of you who think Josh McCown is better for the Bears' future, either short or long term, please really think about what you're considering...“

Isn’t he the best?  He has a way with words and I need to convince him to write a few blog posts.

 

The post didn’t seem particularly controversial, but it (along with my previous friendship posts) sparked an incredibly mean, inappropriate post by my former friend – the father of the twins.  In it, he called me whiny, bitchy, and self-centered among other not nice things.  He said that I expect people to always agree with me and put my life ahead of their own.  Oh, he also accused me of talking about one of our mutual friends on FB (I wasn’t).  And best of all, instead of sending this little gem in a message, he posted on my wall for all to see.  Nice, huh?

I know.  Immature.  And I need to forget about it.

But it was harsh.  There were tears.  No one has ever said such mean things about me (that I know of).  And I started to wonder if any of what he said was true.  I don’t think so, but what if other people have similar thoughts about me?

 

It was also difficult because we have mutual friends and I know they saw the post.  Yet most of them said nothing to me.  I totally understand that it’s awkward to be stuck in the middle of feuding friends, but no matter what, the things he said were inappropriate, posting the message on my wall where friends and family could see it was inappropriate, and I think they could have said SOMETHING to me.  ANYTHING.  Like, “Hey, that wasn’t cool.  I don’t think any of those things are true.”

I did get many comments and messages from sweet friends asking if I was ok, ridiculing the poster, and telling me the post was rude and untrue.  They are true friends.

I guess, in a weird way, this is a blessing in disguise.  I know how this guy (jerk) really feels about me and there’s no need to maintain a friendship (obviously).  I also realize that our mutual “friends” aren’t really friends.  I already knew this I suppose, but this is definitely confirmation.  It’s good to know the truth and in a way, I feel free.  I won’t be putting in the effort only to have it not be reciprocated.  No more get togethers or happy hours with this group.  I’ll focus on those who are there for me, which includes a handful of friends and my fabulous family.  And that’s enough.  They’re all I need.

OH!  The following day, the poster sent a lame apology saying something about my wall being the wrong forum to share what was on his mind.  But NO apology for all the crap he said about me.  What.An.Ass.

P.S.  If you're wondering, I LOST in the fantasy football championship.  Bummer.  I'll get him next year!!