On Returning to Full Time

For the past month, I’ve been working 3 days per week.  Mondays and Wednesdays are my days with the boys.  Just mommy, W, and Baby S.  June 8, I return to full time status.  And it’s breaking my heart.  For some reason, it really hit me yesterday that our park outings, walks, play time, Starbucks drive thru trips,  etc., etc. were coming to an end.  I’m not sure what it was about yesterday – maybe because the weather was finally nice (aside from a few rain showers) and the boys were good for the most part.  I know we’ll still have fun on the weekends, but it won’t be the same.

 For the past couple years, I’ve worked from home on Fridays during the summer.  I hope to do that again and it will allow more time with my boys.

W will likely start preschool in the fall and I hope to be able to drop him off or maybe I can work from home one day a week…

These arrangements will help, but it surely won’t be the same as maternity leave.  And it’s not lost on me that I’ll never have another extended period home with the boys.  That hurts.

Memorial Day Weekend

We had a wonderful weekend and I’m sad it had to end.  Quite a few times, I thought to myself, “Enjoy this time.  The weekend will be over before you know it.”  And I thoroughly appreciated every bit.

Saturday, the weather was perfection.  Sunny and in the mid-seventies – it could not have been better.  We decided to do another picnic/park adventure.  This has quickly become one of my favorite things to do with the boys.  W gets to play and S is fairly content laying on a blanket under a tree.  We were at the park for about 2 hours and then headed home.  I think the rest of the afternoon consisted of mowing the lawn and grocery shopping.  Lots of fresh air for all of us!

 Sunday was our usual church and Starbucks outing.  W took a long nap and A stayed home with the boys while I cashed in some gift certificates for a manicure and pedicure.  Afterwards, I felt AWESOME.  A little pampering goes a long way.  I stopped for a S’mores Frappuccino on my way home.  I definitely enjoyed escaping for a little me time.  It’s been several years since I’ve had a pedicure and I rarely leave the house alone.  Once I got home, I made mostaccioli for dinner per A’s request.  It was such a great day. J

Monday, we tried to take a family walk, but got rained on.  W took an early nap (yes!!) and then we head over to A’s brother and sister-in-law’s house for a Memorial Day cookout.  W LOVES his cousins and had so much fun playing outside.  The food was delicious and we all had a great time.  When we got home, W informed me, “W all worn out playing cousins.”.  LOL!  I love that boy.

And a big thank you to those who made the ultimate sacrifice for our country.  Both of my grandpa’s fought in WWII and I thought about them throughout the day.

Friday Thoughts

TGIF!!

I am feeling so drained today.  My typically 45 minute commute to work has turned into an hour lately, which is so frustrating.  I'm not even sure what's causing the slow traffic - accidents, construction?  W woke every night this week and has had trouble falling back asleep.  I also had my first cavity in years and since getting it filled over a month ago, my tooth has been really sensitive.  It didn’t hurt at all prior to going to the dentist.  So it looks like I’ll be heading back.  Like I really have time for that.  Needless to say, this 3 day weekend couldn’t have come at a better time.

Speaking of the long weekend, we don’t have any set plans.  We may head over to my brother-in-law and sister-in-law’s house for a little cookout on Monday.  It’s supposed to rain and this mom needs some down time so we’ll see…

I booked our flight to Baltimore.  My mom and I will be flying with the boys while A drives.  Eek!!  We may never take another trip again.  But as they say… YOLO.  I hope our adventure turns out as great as in years past.

I have manicure and pedicure gift certificates from years ago that I still haven’t used so I’m thinking about escaping for a manicure this weekend.  I could definitely use a little pampering. J

Happy Memorial Day weekend!

W Says...

W: W want cycle chips!
Me: What?? Sour cream?
W: Cycle chips!!!
A: Psycho chips?
W: Cycle chips!!!!!

We finally figured out this is what he wanted...

Me: Did you toot?
W:  W farted like Walter!!

Weekend Recap

This weekend was extremely busy and seems like one big blur… I need a vacation from my weekend!  But we had tons of fun and the boys were wonderful.

Saturday morning was W’s last day of school for now.  We decided to take a little break and not sign him up for the June session.  After school, A and W picked up S and myself.  We stopped at McD’s to pick up lunch and then headed to cousin Peter’s baseball game.  Once we arrived, we spread out a blanket and had a little picnic lunch while cheering on Pete.  It was lots of fun and W loves his cousins!  W fell asleep on the way home and took a long nap.  After waking from his nap, we headed to Saturday night mass at church.  The boys were great though W was very talkative.  He continuously asked where grandma was, not understanding why we were at Saturday mass. J

By some miracle (must have been that Saturday mass!!), both boys slept through the night.  Sunday morning, we headed to the Great Strides walk.  A and I both had the location mapped on our phones and both phones brought us to different locations – and both were wrong.  After a frustrating drive, we finally made it and parking was really difficult to find.  The walk was fine, but every time I tried to get W a snack, they were out of it.  So no popcorn, nachos, or snow cones for us.  Really annoying.  Shouldn’t you have enough food on hand?!?  We also had a very small team… my mom had a previous commitment (my own fault for not telling her the walk date sooner), friends and family had other plans, so that was disappointing, though understandable.  On the bright side, the weather was nice and it’s always great to see so many people supporting finding a cure for CF.

 

After the walk, it was off to lunch with the family.  We had hoped to attend W’s school carnival and run errands, but we were all exhausted by the time we got home.  The boys were cranky so we stayed home for the evening.

Monday, A took the day off to spend with us.  There was grocery shopping and an eye doctor appointment for me.  After that, we picked up lunch and headed to a local toddler park.  We picnicked and W had a blast playing at the park.  S was also very content laying on a blanket under a tree. J  W, my little flirt, picked a flower dandelion and brought it to a lady.  Not sure if he thought the lady was me and didn’t realize until after the flower was delivered, but I couldn’t stop laughing.  From there, we went to Home Depot and chose a patio table for our deck.  A got a haircut and we finished the day by grilling burgers and hot dogs for dinner.  Busy, busy!

Friday Thoughts

I’m home with the boys on Mondays and Wednesdays for the time being.  I usually have one completely awesome day where the boys are SO good and I want 4 more babies (not really) and one tougher day where I’m counting the minutes until A gets home.  This past week, Monday was a looong day.  It was rainy, we couldn’t go outside, and W didn’t sleep well.  Enough said.  But then yesterday happened.  The stars aligned and both boys took long naps at the same time.  OMG.  S napped for 2.5 hours and W napped for 2 hours.  With the overlap, I got a whole hour and a half to myself!!!  I unloaded the dishes, washed bottles, pumped, addressed baptism invites, made bottles for the following day, and entered the boys in a modeling contest… What?  They’re cute…. Anyway, I felt like the best mom ever.  And then we went to dinner where W told me he was going to eat chicken and soup and I rolled my eyes because he hasn’t eaten chicken in 4 months (unless it’s in nugget form).  But then he ate chicken and soup!!  WHAT?!?  And I wasn’t even dreaming.  It was a great day.

A is taking Monday off to hang out with us.  We don’t have any real plans.  I’m just so looking forward to an extra set of hands and family time.

S’s baptism is in 2 weeks.  W’s baptism is one of my all-time favorite memories.  I just remember feeling so happy and blessed.  I loved sharing such a special day with our family, friends, and church friends.  I hope S’s baptism is equally as wonderful.

I’ve forgotten to mention it in the monthly updates, but S stopped taking a pacifier around 6 weeks old.  I’m really happy that we won’t have to worry about breaking that habit later on.

I forgot the caps to my pump bottles again.  Ugghhh.  I started talking to my mom while I was packing bags and somehow forgot to put the caps in.  So frustrating.  Looks like I’ll be bringing milk home in a travel mug again. #pumpingproblems

W has started making up songs… he’ll add words to tunes he already knows.  For instance, to the tune of The Wheels on the Bus, he sings, “Dee Dee’s tail goes back and forth, back and forth, back and forth all day long.”  Last night is was, “W’s plate goes round and round, round and round, round and round all day long.” (as he turned his plate on the tray of his high chair).  Very cute. :)

I can’t recall a time when I’ve been so happy.  I’m not trying to be annoying or boastful.  I just feel lucky to have my boys and A, our house, and a job I enjoy.  I’m fulfilled… though I wouldn’t be opposed to sleeping through the night… :)

Gifts for Baby S

Dear S,

I know it may seem like you’ve gotten all of your brother's hand-me-downs.  From the crib, to clothes, to toys, most of your items have already been used and loved.  But you, my dear, have been the recipient of some very meaningful, generous gifts.  And if there comes a time when you’re feeling not so special or less extraordinary, I wanted to have a reminder of the kindness and generosity displayed solely for you. *

Before you were born, Grandma G gifted us with the rocking chair in your room.  That rocking chair is a perfect fit and we use it every single day.  We snuggle.  We read.  We rock.  I take so many pictures of you on that chair – it’s just right for sitting you up.

Nani made the blanket we covered you with the day we brought you home.  That blanket also appears in your hospital and newborn photos.  The colors match your room perfectly.  Additionally, Nani finds a special outfit for you for every holiday.  Your sweet Valentine’s Day, St. Pat’s Day, Easter, and Independence Day attire all came from Nani.

You received the cutest clothes from mommy’s coworkers and Nani and Papa’s friends.  All were completely unexpected and appreciated.  It was nice to have new outfits just for you.

Grandma G's cousin, Barbara, knitted you a special blanket.  She even found out how your room was decorated and got grandma to divulge your name so that she could design a special blanket just for you.

You also received a special outfit from one of Mommy’s colleagues in Connecticut and from Aunt Nancy in Florida.

You received an embroidered blanket with your name and birthdate from the Chief Medical Officer at mommy’s company.

A very special gift arrived from Aunt Lori in Maryland.  She found a vintage ISU jacket ages ago and was waiting for the perfect person to send it to.  That special person was you.  I adore that jacket and can’t wait for you to wear it one day.

And one of my all-time favorite gifts – a rugby shirt straight from Ireland came from mommy’s colleague in Dublin.  Mommy is proud of her (and your) Irish heritage.  It’s why big brother has an Irish middle name and why your middle name also has Irish connections.  I’m so excited for you to wear your authentic rugby shirt.

Mommy also received a care package from Germany in celebration of your arrival – so very thoughtful.

So if there comes a time when you feel like you’re just following in your brother’s footsteps, remember how loved you are.  Remember how important and one-of-a-kind and celebrated you are.

*I feel like I need a disclaimer indicating that things and stuff do not make you special, but the innate qualities you possess do.  Mainly, I just want you to know that you were equally celebrated and admired and I so appreciate the kindness displayed in your honor. :)

Mother's Day 2015

My Mother’s Day weekend was very low key and that was just fine by me.  A asked me if I wanted to go out for dinner on Saturday or Sunday, but that meant taking the boys with us.  Since we have one who doesn’t eat and one who gets fussy during dinner time, I declined.  Maybe next year…

Saturday was busy.  W had school, I ran errands, W napped, we went grocery shopping… It doesn’t sound like much, but by the time we were finished grocery shopping, it was 6:30pm.  That left just enough time for dinner and bath.  I should also mention that I got pulled over for not coming to a complete stop at a stop sign.  Oops.  But I had S with me and the police officer told me he couldn’t give me a ticket on Mother’s Day weekend. J

Mother’s Day consisted of church, Starbucks, a visit from Nani and Papi, and Mexican food for dinner.  A and the boys gave me a mommy survival kit that included margarita mix, chocolates, and Sour Patch kids… my favorite!  I also received a phone case (W drops my phone all the time) and a framed picture of the boys’ handprints.  All in all, a great Mother’s Day.  And I even put the margarita mix to use so we could have margaritas with our tacos.

And I almost forgot to mention the best gift of all… W slept through the night 3 nights in a row!!!!!  He hasn’t slept 2 nights in a row since January.  January!!!  Unfortunately, Mother Nature brought us a storm the next night and W was up 4 times.  He’s scared of thunderstorms.  But those 3 nights were glorious!!!

Friday Randoms

W slept through the night!!  I feel SO much better!!  Gosh, I really needed a good night of sleep!  What a difference a day sleep can make.

W got out of the bath last night and asked to sit on the potty.  He then went potty on the potty!!  So so proud of him.

The S’mores Frappuccino is wonderful.  Panera’s Frozen Lemonade is also amazing.  I’m not sure what’s with me and my love for specialty drinks, but I wish I could make a meal out of them!

I miss having girl friends.  That sounds weird.  Let me explain.  At one point, I had a really close group of friends.  There were 4 of us and I likened our group to the girls of SATC… only we were a lot more boring and a lot less stylish.  Ha. ;)  Anyway, we had fun together.  And it was great because at least one of us was usually available for shopping, dinner, drinks, etc.  It seemed like our group dissolved when I got pregnant with W.  One friend who was battling infertility stopped talking to me and another friend seemed to distance herself after I had W.  My other girl friend and I are still close – she’s stuck with me.  I’ve known her husband for nearly 10 years, I’m her daughter’s Godmother and she’ll be baby S’s Godmother.  So yeah, not going anywhere. J  But I miss the group.  I could say the same for my college friends.  We grew apart.  I still keep in contact with one of them, but there were about 10 of us who were close.  I know it happens.  But I currently find myself with few girl friends and it makes me sad… Maybe what I really need is mom friends.  Mom friends who like to shop and enjoy margaritas!!

I’m no fashion expert, but there are a couple things that make me cringe.  Visible bra straps while wearing a sleeveless dress… shudder.  Socks with sandals… shudder.  Neither is acceptable in my book.

I came in to work to find yellow tulips on my desk and bagels and strawberries for breakfast proving once again that I have the BEST colleagues!  Love them!

Happy Mother’s Day to all the moms out there.  Those ladies who are still trying/hoping/praying for a baby are in my heart.

My Biggest Mom Fail Yet

I hesitated to write this, let alone post it.  But I think it’s important for moms to share real stories – not just their victories, but the tough times as well.  All too often we paint an idealized Pinterest worthy picture of our lives and our children and it’s just not REAL.  It may be real in that moment in time, but in the grand scheme of things, life is messy, children are really messy, mistakes are made.  So here goes…

I’ve had a bit of a rough week.  I’m fighting my second cold in a month.  The boys and A are both getting over colds and it appears I caught the second one from them.  Or I got the same cold twice?  I don’t think that’s possible, but who knows.  W has also had a few rough nights in the sleep department (per usual).  It seemed like we were making progress with him and then the progress stalled and I’m not sure what to do.  It seems like we’ve tried everything.  So after not sleeping well and not feeling well, I was attempting to prepare W’s breakfast yesterday.  I laid S on our love seat – he likes to stare at the stars we have hung on the wall and I proceeded to help W into his high chair.  I put the tray on and then heard a little thump followed by crying.  I immediately knew what had happened and ran to the love seat where baby S was now on the (carpeted) floor.  I started crying as I checked S.  The love seat cushions are about a foot and a half from the floor.  He didn’t fall far and stopped crying quickly, but I was shaken and felt awful.  I knew I had made a stupid mistake.  S doesn’t roll yet so I thought he’d remain stationary on the couch, but obviously he had managed to scoot himself off.  He was fine, but I was not.  On a lighter note, W was completely oblivious to the incident and happily watched Daniel Tiger while eating his bagel.

The remainder of the day was also tough.  Both boys were good, but it seemed like they always needed something at the same time.  When W was ready for lunch, S wanted a bottle.  When I was holding S, W wanted to be picked up.  When S was sleeping, W wanted to play loudly.  That continued on an on.  At one point, W told me he was tired and wanted to nap.  Umm, ok?!?  That never happens.  I took W to his bed and told him to rest for a bit.  I knew he wouldn’t stay in bed, but I hoped he’d entertain himself while I gave S a bottle.  He entertained himself by screaming and peeling the stickers off of his sticker chart.  The sticker chart I made to celebrate the nights he sleeps well.  He also recently put stickers up for using the potty.  When I saw those stickers on the floor, ripped up, it broke my heart.  As stupid as it sounds, the chart was for me as much as it was for him – a reminder that we did in fact have good nights (even if there were just a few).  Those scattered sticker pieces so symbolic of our most recent night and day.

I just felt like one big failure.  There were great moments.  We played outside for about 3 hours, met neighbors, and both boys napped at the same time - it was only a brief overlap, but that always makes me feel like super mom.  Except yesterday, it didn’t.  Because I still felt horrible.

Last  night, there were 4 wake ups between the boys.  I couldn’t find my keys this morning.  Today isn’t off to a much better start.

But I know things could be worse.  And I’ll never leave S on a raised surface alone again.

Baby S is 3 Months Old

Happy 3 months, Baby S!

You continue to be the sweetest, happiest baby.  When you wake in the morning or after nap, you are all smiles.  One of my favorite things is greeting you when you wake up because I’m sure to get an enormous grin. J  Speaking of waking, you moved from sleeping in our room to sleeping in your crib this month.  The first few nights, you were waking after 5-6 hours, but you’re back to sleeping 7-9.5 hours straight, having a bottle, and going back to sleep for at least a couple hours.  You are a rock star sleeper.  You take a long nap in the morning, but afternoon naps are inconsistent.  You’ll usually take a couple 30 minute naps.  I’m hoping to get you on a better schedule this month.

 You still eat a lot – 5 to 6 ounces every 2 to 3 hours during the day.  I’m not very good at keeping track of the total you’re consuming, but I think it’s about 35 ounces per day.  You’re in mostly 3-6 month clothing, but have worn size 9 months recently and even wore a 12 month onesie.

You still love baths and you like being talked to.  You enjoy being around people, my social boy.  You like walks in the stroller and you seem to like to be outside… as long as it’s not too hot and the sun isn’t in your eyes.  You adore your brother.  Any time he’s nearby, you watch him and smile.  You’ve discovered your hands and like to chomp on them.  You’ve also started holding toys for short periods of time and grabbing mom’s hair (and you have quite a grip – ouch!).

 You’ve become a lot more aware of your surroundings this month and loud noises seem to startle you more – dad’s cheering during sports games and W’s yells have resulted in jumps and tears from you.

The only things you really dislike are your car seat, tummy time, nail trims, and hats.  Every time I put a hat on your head you’ll shake your head back and forth. J

We had another fabulous month and time continues to fly by.  You’re such a wonderful addition to our family – it’s as if you were always meant to be with us.  You are our everything and more, S.

Friday Thoughts

In no particular order…

I sent birth announcements to my coworkers and they all have the announcements hung up on their bulletin boards.  So every time I go into an office or walk down the hall to pick up a copy, I see my sweet baby S.  It warms my heart.

My favorite current song is One Republic’s I Lived.  A and I were up with baby S when he was only a few days old.  It was really early in the morning – probably around 2 or 3 am and A was flipping through channels (which drives me crazy… for the LOVE, just stay on one channel!).  He landed on the music video for I Lived.  I didn’t even know music videos were still a thing and I didn’t know they were still shown on television.  Anyway, the entire music video features a boy LIVING with CF… so amazingly cool!!!

This week, I started working 3 days a week.  Naturally, everyone in the house is fighting a nasty cold.  Ughh.  And the sleep deprivation, oh the sleep deprivation… W will sleep at some point, right??

Speaking of sleep deprivation, S was sleeping 7-9.5 hours each night.  We moved him to the nursery and he’s now waking up after 5-6 hours.  What the heck?!?  The crib has to be way more comfortable than the play yard bassinet he was in??

 I’ve been back in my pre-pregnancy clothes for a couple weeks.  Woohoo!!  I still have some weight to lose, but it’s a great feeling!

W has this new thing lately where he turns off the lights and starts dancing and singing Batman.  Also, he has no clue who Batman is.  It’s pretty funny.

 S will be 3 months old in 4 days.  Nooo. L  He’s been exclusively on breast milk since he arrived and I’m so proud of that.  I thought I may have to supplement because dude can eat (35ish ounces every day!), but I’ve been able to keep up.  On a related note, I forgot the caps to my pumping bottles today.  Crap.  I forget something every.single.day I work.  So I’m thinking of using my travel mug to transport milk.  Lol.  Desperate times…

Finally, if I had a dollar for every time someone told me I need pictures of S on my desk, I’d be rich.  Second baby not getting the same attention blah, blah, blah.  I know, I know.  I already feel guilty for not holding him enough, not talking to him enough, etc., etc.  The pictures have been ordered!!  On a related note, I need an assistant!