Weekend recap and a case of the Mondays... Again

This past weekend was great.  I felt really productive both Saturday and Sunday.  Saturday started out with grocery shopping.  I actually planned ahead for meals!  That never happens.  I got home, unloaded groceries, and decided to try my hand at pumpkin soup.  It turned out just ok, but hey, it’s edible and it will be my lunch for at least a couple days this week.  When baby W is on more table foods, I’m hoping to make a couple meals on Sunday to have later on in the week.  If you know me, you know I don’t cook.  Like anything.  Ever.  So preparing meals ahead of time would be a huge feat.  Then, we decided to take W to a local pumpkin patch.  A great idea in theory, but W slept the entire time.  A and I still had fun visiting all the animals.  We even picked out a couple pumpkins.  I can’t wait to visit again.  Maybe W will even be awake next time!  We got home and I made some spinach and artichoke dip… yum!  Then, the 3 of us headed out to visit friends… the same friends that recently announced they were expecting.  Our friend Chris also happened to be in town from Minnesota.  I’ve known him for 10+ years and it was great to see him.  He announced that he and his wife are also expecting.  That makes 3 friends expecting and they’re all due within a month of each other.  Very happy for all of them… but I still get that pang of sadness – or maybe it’s envy.  I don’t know if I’ll ever get over not being able to experience a natural pregnancy.  Maybe if we go through another round of IVF and it’s successful, I’ll feel more at peace?  I love W with all my heart, but I have this feeling that our family isn’t quite complete and not knowing if IVF will work again is agonizing.

Anyway, Sunday brought church, Starbucks, a quick trip to Babies R Us, the Bears game (which was awful), cleaning, I made dinner, we went for a family walk, and then it was time for bed.

And then it was Monday.  Yuck.  I seem to  always feel like crap on Monday.  Can’t we just skip Monday?  W woke up in the night.  Fortunately, he fell back asleep pretty quickly.  I, on the other hand, did not.  I got up, saw the massive pile of clothes for charity that I’ve been meaning to sort for about 2 weeks now.  Remembered that I never did get around to vacuuming.  Thought about how I had planned to drop W off for a couple hours with my aunt this coming Saturday so that I could have some me time, but now that isn’t going to happen.  I was so looking forward to squeezing in some errands and maybe even lunch.  Not to mention that my aunt loves seeing W.  But I have to cancel for another commitment.  And I just want to cry.  I know I can reschedule, but I was so looking forward to a break THIS Saturday.  Uggh.  And then I realized that my makeup bag was in A’s car and he was already at work.  So I’m just going to look terrible all day.  Sometimes I feel like I just completely suck at the whole work, life balance.  I was THIS close to calling in sick (or emailing in sick) this morning.  THIS close.  I even started typing an email to my boss as I waited for a freight train to pass.  Oh yeah, I forgot to mention – I sat in construction traffic forever and got stopped by a freight train.  But as I was saying…. mid email to my boss, I changed my mind.  I hate lying.  I was sick of staring at that pile of clothes, sick of being stuck in traffic, possibly looking sick due to lack of makeup, but I wasn’t ill.  And I always think Karma will get me back by making me ill as punishment for lying about being sick.  Yeah, I have issues. J  So I arrived at work an hour and twenty minutes after leaving the house for what I’m sure will be a long day.  Fun times. 

But I have an idea… I think I may drop off W at his Grandma’s on Thursday, like I typically would, but use a vacation day.  Hopefully I can accomplish many of the things on my growing to do list – sorting clothes, cleaning, a trip to the mall, ordering pictures, making some phone calls, maybe even a manicure (it’s been a year since I’ve gotten one)?!?!  We’ll see… I don’t like using vacation days unless I NEED them, but then again, maybe I do need this for my mental health. ;)  I feel better already.

 

 

Friday Favorites

It’s Friday!!  And it has been a really looong week!  Time to celebrate with a few of my favorite things.

 

I haven’t been this excited about a piece of jewelry in a long time.  I love love love Alex and Ani bracelets.  They have so many options to choose from, come in gold and silver, are made in the US, and BEST of all – they are very affordable.  I have baby W’s first initial and birthstone.  Did I mention how much I love them?  Oh AND I love their company spiel:

 “Alex and Ani, LLC offers eco-friendly, positive energy products that adorn the body, enlighten the mind, and empower the spirit, designed by Carolyn Rafaelian and made in America. Carolyn believes that every individual has a positive message to share with the world and by incorporating powerful symbolism and design into each (+) energy piece, Alex and Ani provides a vehicle for the wearer to express their individuality in an organic, spiritual way. She believes it is her life’s work to support communities and organizations while inspiring her customers to relish what is unique and authentic about themselves, revealing the beauty that resides within.”

If you’re a mom, then you should get to know TheBabyGuyNYC.  He has a website, FB page, Twitter, Instagram, and probably more social media outlets that I’m not even familiar with.  TheBabyGuy aka Jamie is a gay, childless, baby gear expert.  And he’s awesome.  He gives thorough product reviews and demonstrations.  Every so often, he has a fantastic giveaway.  I haven’t won yet, but someday… I wish I would have discovered him while I was pregnant.  After some serious research and much wavering, I chose baby W’s convertible car seat based on his recommendation.

McDonald’s has a Pumpkin Spice Latte!  It’s no Starbucks PSL, but it’s still tasty.  And there happen to be exactly 4 McDonald’s drive thrus on my direct route home.  That trumps the one Starbucks drive thru that is nearly impossible to pull out of without a collision.  And yes, I am lazy.  And yes, I may have stopped at McDonalds 4 times this week for a coffee beverage of some sort…  it was a long week.  Don’t judge.

Baby W woke up super happy today.  He’s always been a happy baby, but he seemed extra happy this morning.  Maybe he knows it’s Friday.  After his bottle, we made our way upstairs.  I’ve been trying to get him to say mama, dada, Addie, for a long time.  He’s only 9 months old, so I’ve never really expected him to repeat after me.  This morning, I started with mama and said it a few times.  Then I said dada a few times and W repeated dada!!  It made my day!  Unfortunately, I couldn’t get him to say it again.  BUT I heard it!  Without a doubt, he said dada!

Have a great weekend!!

Sometimes I just need to vent

It has been a week filled with minor frustrations, annoyances, and lots of emails.  I’m just in a bad mood and I think that’s ok sometimes.  I’m trying to snap out of it and I will soon.  But for the time being, I’m just going to be blah.  And since I’m blah, here is my public service announcement.  Sometime people use social media to vent.  I often do.  I’m not looking for advice and I’m certainly not looking for a condescending comment.  I'm not trying to offend anyone.  I’m just simply venting.  Getting something off my mind and putting it somewhere else.  That is very therapeutic for me.  I try to be optimistic and hopeful and cheery on social media, but let’s face it, there are days when the baby is cranky, someone says something that bugs me, or I get 19 emails in an hour at work.  So the next time one of your friends doesn’t have a jovial Facebook status, try not to tell them what they’re doing wrong or explain the situation from your point of view.  Instead, just simply say “been there” or “I understand where you’re coming from”.  Commiserate.  Sympathize.  A little empathy goes a long way.

Baby W's Birth Story - Part 1

I have a feeling this is going to be a long one so I think I’ll break it up into 2 posts.

I had a great pregnancy.  Sure I had some aches and pains, some sleepless nights, swelling, but for the most part, I felt great.  People are SO nice to a pregnant lady – doors were held for me, strangers would come over and ask about the baby, even my OB told me I was “all baby”, which made me feel so much better about my weight gain.  I felt wonderful (truth be told, I actually miss being pregnant).

 

During the final month, I started measuring big.  For my entire pregnancy, I measured exactly on track.  When I started measuring big, I got concerned.  There’s a condition called polyhydramnios, which basically means there is too much amniotic fluid.  It can cause complications and be a sign of birth defects.  I was really scared something could be wrong with baby W, but told myself that everything had been fine until that point.  If there were complications or birth defects, they should have been detected sooner.  My OB ordered an ultrasound to check fluid and the position of the baby and assured me that everything would be fine.

The ultrasound took place about 2 weeks prior to my due date.  A was with me and I was really nervous.  The ultrasound tech moved the probe across my belly.  At the top of my belly, she paused and said there’s his head.  Immediate red flag.  Baby W was breech, as in head up, bottom down.  I knew immediately that meant c section.  It was highly unlikely that he would turn this late in the game.  On the positive side, he was healthy and his position was the reason I was suddenly measuring big.  I now joke that he’s smart and only wanted to be right side up. J

I was extremely upset.  I knew a c section meant a longer hospital stay, a more difficult recovery.  It was not at all what I envisioned.  There would be no water breaking, no labor, no last minute packing of hospital bags, and no excited calls to friends and family.  And I was terrified of surgery and potential complications.

At the OB appointment following the ultrasound, I was on the verge of tears.  The OB tried to comfort me and told me she thought baby W was pretty big and this might be a blessing in disguise.  I wouldn’t have to go through hours of labor only to eventually wind up with a c section.  That made me feel better.  She also discussed potential birth dates with me.  She had to consult with the OR, but the possibilities were 12/19, 12/20, or 12/21.  She asked what my preference would be.  I said 12/21 for no good reason.  I liked the idea of a 12/21/12 birthdate.

The doctor’s office called two days later to schedule the c section and discuss the preparations.  I couldn’t even answer and let the call go to voicemail.  I was still so upset and scared about having to go through a c section.  I went to lunch with coworkers and they tried to cheer me up.  I also received a couple sweet emails from friends.  Lunch and hearing from friends made me feel better and I mustered enough courage to return the phone call from the doctor’s office.  The c section was scheduled for 12/20 with my favorite doctor.  I was to be at the hospital at 6 am.  I realized that 12/21 was the day the world was rumored to end so it probably wasn’t the best choice for a birthday in retrospect. J

It was so strange having a scheduled birthdate.  Until this point, I had been analyzing every little sign, wondering when baby W would make his appearance.  I knew I could still go into labor prior to that date, but baby W was showing no signs of coming early.  I was still nervous and my doctor assured me he had performed thousands of c sections and been in practice for years so I was in good hands.  I didn’t even tell many people about the scheduled c section.  After it was all over, a few people questioned why I hadn’t told them – I was just so nervous about the whole thing and it was hard for me to accept.  Hopefully they understand.

A pointed out that everything about baby W’s existence had been planned –choosing when to start IVF and deciding on a transfer date.  It only seemed fitting to have a scheduled delivery date.

As the date approached, I was still very nervous, but I was also getting more and more excited to meet baby.  I tried to focus on the positive aspects of a c section.  I could make necessary arrangements ahead of time – mainly making sure Addie dog had a place to stay while we were in the hospital.  If all went well, we’d be home in time for Christmas (A had previously predicted that baby W would arrive on Christmas, my due date was 12/26).  Baby W would have a perfectly shaped head – ha!  I’d have to stay in the hospital a little longer, but that meant extra help from the wonderful nurses.  I would also be on short term disability longer, which meant a couple extra pay checks from the insurance company.  I wouldn’t endure hours upon hours of labor pain and pushing.

 

I have a case of the Mondays...

I blinked and the weekend was over.  How did that happen??

Baby W had his 9 month check up on Saturday.  He was wonderful.  He was way overdue for his nap and I expected the worst, but he didn’t even cry after getting a shot.  He currently weighs 20 pounds 8 ounces (50^th percentile) and is 28 inches tall (60^th percentile).  We’re working on introducing table foods and so far, he is not a fan.  He seems to be very sensitive to new textures.  The pediatrician didn’t seem concerned and told us to keep working on it.  On the bright side, he eats every type of puree imaginable.

 

 

The remainder of Saturday and Sunday were filled with a haircut (for me), errands, church, breakfast, a get together with a friend, cleaning, and watching the Bears….

And then it was Monday.  I woke up with a headache and I’m just really blah today.  I feel so overwhelmed and I think I need a break.  Germany was wonderful and amazing and I’m so grateful I had to the opportunity to go… but, I worked 11 hour days while there.  I didn’t sleep at all on the plane heading to Germany and with the time change, I had to be in the German office 3 hours after landing.  Throw in a 45 minute drive to the hotel from the airport, a few minutes needed for freshening up, a 15 minute drive from the hotel to the office, and I got a total of 1 hour sleep before arriving to the office and giving a 2 hour presentation.  Then, I came home on a Saturday, which means an entire weekend day was spent traveling.  That coupled with jam packed weekends has left me exhausted.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my life and I’m so so thankful for every opportunity and all the time spent with friends and family, but I’d so love to watch a few minutes of some crap show or start a new book or sleep in (gasp!) or take a trip to the mall… I’m thinking I’ll use a vacation day in the near future.  I just need a day where I don’t have to do something specific or be somewhere.  Is it Friday yet??

Baby W is 9 Months Old!

Happy 9 months!  I say it every time and I know everyone is so tired of hearing it, but I just cannot believe how fast this is happening.  I think back to when we were in the hospital, when we brought you home for the first time, how Addie was so excited to meet you and then howled when you cried, how we had to Face Time with family on Christmas because we couldn’t leave the house… it all seems like ages ago and we’ve both learned so much since then.  I’ve been putting off planning your first birthday because I don’t want to believe that you’ll actually be one soon. 

On to the 9 month update: Not only did you get your first tooth, you got your first four teeth!!!  I guess you’re just an overachiever and went for all four at the same time.  It happened over a 2 week period and you’ve been amazing.  We had one rough night and a few cranky periods, but you’ve handled it remarkably well!  You’ve also started crawling!  You’re still figuring it out, but you’re all over the place.  We’ve had to use baby gates and pillows throughout the house.  You’re also able to move from laying down to a sitting position.  This.is.trouble.  Long gone are the days when I would lay you in your crib for a nap and you’d simply roll over and fall asleep.  Now, as soon as I put you in your crib, you sit up as if to say, “Yeah right, mom. A nap is not happening.”  Mom also survived not seeing you for four days.  I say ‘mom survived’ because I think it was way way harder for me than for you.  You had so much fun with dad and your grandmas while mom was in Germany.  You hate being placed in your high chair and car seat – I think it’s because you know you won’t be able to move freely.  You love exploring your toys – you often examine them closely as if you’re trying to figure out how they work.  Future engineer?  You love toy cars and anything that isn’t a toy – boxes, strings, paper, remotes, phones, Addie’s tail.  You are our everything and more, little man.  We love you so much!

 

Friday Favorites on Thursday

Baby W will be 9 months old tomorrow so I wanted to dedicate that post to him.

As a result - Friday Favorites on Thursday!

Remington Keratin Therapy - My hair dryer finally died while I was in Germany… or I blew it up by using the wrong electrical socket converter… oops.  Regardless, I needed to find a new one quickly.  I should preface this by saying I have awful hair.  It’s in between some sort of wavy, straight, frizzy, curly mess.  As a result, I blow dry my hair straight and then flat iron.  I know – I’m probably making it even worse with all the heat, but I don’t know what else to do.  Anyway, I needed a blow dryer fast and did a little research.  I decided on a Remington.  It seemed to be a middle of the line dryer – not too expensive, but not cheap either.  Holy moly, what a difference a hair dryer can make!!  Why did I wait so long to buy a new one?  The Remington dries my hair way faster and my hair is way way smoother.  I’m in love!

Mini Boden – I’m a sucker for preppy, striped baby boy clothes (as you can tell from my previous post).  Although a bit on the pricey side, I love the quality and style of Mini Boden.  And they often provide coupon codes when you join their mailing list.  Check out their fall line.

Chobani Flips – I have these for lunch at least twice a week.  Love the mix ins and the fact that it’s Greek yogurt makes it seem healthier.  Yum!

New Girl – It’s back!  I hardly ever watch tv.  I couldn’t even tell you the last time I watched a complete episode of anything (who has time with work and baby raising?).  This is the only show I make an effort to keep up with.  The first episode is waiting for me on my DVR and I can’t wait to watch.  It’s witty, funny, and just plain entertaining.  And I have  a crush on Nick… shhh.

 

988 page views – Almost 1000!  This probably isn’t a big deal for my experienced blogger friends, but it made me smile.  I’m curious about who actually reads this blog.  Feel free to introduce yourself via comment.

Jump Around!

Lately, I’ve noticed that Baby W expresses himself more and picks up on our reactions.  If I laugh, he laughs or continues to do whatever it is that’s making me laugh.  He also looks for me when we play peek-a-boo.  A was holding him yesterday and I’d hide behind A – baby W would lean over A’s arms in an attempt to find me.  I love the interaction.  He’s usually really happy and loves to explore.  With that said, he is also demonstrating his displeasure and shows his temper when we put him in his car seat or high chair.  Yikes.

Last night, we put W in the Jumparoo for a few minutes so A and I could eat dinner.  He often protests the Jumparoo and I end up taking him out right away (he used to love it, but now he realizes he can’t explore the house if he’s in it).  Well, baby W decided he liked the Jumparoo last night.  He’d enthusiastically bounce and then start screaming.  This resulted in me laughing, which only encouraged him to bounce and scream more… it looked like I hit the fast forward button on him he was so excited.  It was quite entertaining…

 

 

IVF 2: BFP

This is going to be a long one...

I gave myself a month to recover from the failed IVF.  In that time, I did lots of research and tried to enjoy life.  I was excited to be matron of honor in a friend’s wedding and even got to enjoy some cocktails at the event since I was between IVFs.  I also mentally prepared myself for the next round of IVF.  I was very cautious about not getting excited.  Obviously, I hoped IVF 2 would be successful, but I remained indifferent and reminded myself that there was a good possibility we’d have to participate in a third round of IVF or even a fourth.  I treated the cycle as more of a procedure rather than a potentially life changing event.  I even had a job interview during that time.  I’m proud of how calm and grounded I was able to remain.  I can be quite passionate so this was a major accomplishment.

I started IVF 2 in late March.  The injections, multiple blood draws, and ultrasounds were similar to the first round.  There was one very stressful evening when the doctor decided to switch up one of my medications at the last minute.  I was literally waiting for a courier to deliver the hCG medication minutes before I was supposed to make the injection.  Not cool.  And I should mention the medication switch wasn’t due to how I was responding; the doctor just preferred one type over another.

Retrieval day arrived and the RE was able to obtain 20 eggs.  I was excited to make it to the 20s.  I had to remind the nurse that we’d be using frozen swimmers and we were doing a 3 day transfer.  She seemed surprised by the 3 day transfer and asked if that was what I really wanted.  The apparent lack of communication has persuaded me to schedule a consultation with another clinic before going through IVF again, but that’s an entirely different post.

I received the fertility report when we went in for transfer.  12 eggs were mature and 11 fertilized.  This time, A came with me (we didn’t even have to take the day off of work because transfer fell on a Saturday… woohoo!).  The embryologist sat and talked with us before transfer and I appreciated that he took time to explain the embryo grades (the previous time, it had been a quick 10 second report before I was whisked off for transfer).  He said that he thought our embryos looked better this time around and was hopeful we’d have some to freeze.  Great news, but I wasn’t getting my hopes up.  Transfer was smoother than it had been for IVF 1.  Hubs really enjoyed getting to watch the embryos being transferred (there’s a screen that shows the embryos being removed from the dish and being placed) and I enjoyed his support.

For IVF 1, I rested quite a bit (as recommended) after transfer.  This time around, I rested less.  I didn’t do anything crazy, but I also didn’t put my life on hold.  I went to brunch the following day and to a baseball game two days later.  The baseball game was so much fun.  Hubs and I went with two friends who are hilarious.  I think I laughed through the whole game and I’m now convinced this helped with implantation.  The next few days I was crampy and bloated and absolutely convinced that the second IVF was also a bust.  It didn’t help that the embryologist called to tell us that once again we had no embryos make it to freeze.  So disappointing.  But I wasn’t completely devastated like I had been with IVF 1 since I knew what to expect.  I had also accepted a job offer just before transfer so I told myself that perhaps it just wasn’t my time for a baby.  I really do think everything happens for a reason and I figured I’d immerse myself in my new job and wait a few months before undergoing yet another round of IVF.

Making it to one week post transfer was an accomplishment for me since my cycle had started at that point after the first transfer.  I think it was 9 days post transfer when I was getting ready to hop in the shower.  On a whim, I decided to take a pregnancy test.  At this point the hCG from the trigger shot should have been out of my system, but I also knew it was really early so there was still hope even if it turned out negative.  I peed on the stick and set the test on the bathroom counter.  The first line showed up right away and I thought that was it.  I turned on the water and grabbed a towel.  Right before hopping in the shower, I glanced at the stick and saw a faint second line.  Oh my gosh!  I wrapped the towel around myself and ran downstairs to tell A.  We were both excited, but we knew this was just the beginning and we still had a long road ahead.

I was scheduled for beta 13 days post transfer.  The morning before the blood draw, I decided to take another pregnancy test.  I wanted to be prepared for the news… if it was still positive that was great, but if it was now negative, I knew I’d probably receive bad news.  I promised A I’d let the phone call from the clinic got to voicemail so we could listen to the results together.  Besides, if it was bad news, I didn’t want to be alone.

The call came early.  I recognized the number right away and my phone soon showed that I had a voicemail waiting.  Seeing the voicemail notification and not listening to that message was incredibly difficult.  THEN, another call from the SAME number came that afternoon.  Oh no!  What should I do?!?  I hadn’t expected TWO phone calls!!  Why would they call twice??  What if something was wrong and the nurse really needed to talk to me??  If something was wrong, maybe it was best to listen with A anyway.  I let that call go to voicemail as well.

I FINALLY got home from work and A and I both sat on the couch staring at my phone in anticipation.  I was so so so nervous.  I hit the play button.  The first message was from one of my favorite nurses at the clinic.  She asked that I call her back as soon as possible.  Oh no!!  What if they didn’t want to leave my results in a message?  I hadn’t even thought about that scenario.  I looked at A wide eyed… I HAD to know what the results were TODAY and the clinic was definitely closed by now.  I hit play on the second message.  The same nurse explained that she was hoping to talk to me to give me the good news… my beta was 299… a really great number.  She congratulated us and said I’d need to come in for an ultrasound.

Again, I knew that this was just the beginning.  We had a long way to go and I didn’t want to get too excited yet, but I was extremely hopeful and happy.

During the next few weeks, I took things one day at a time.  I didn’t want to look too far into the future and was happy to be pregnant with each passing week.  Every Wednesday was a victory because it marked another week pregnant.  Every ultrasound and blood test brought positive news much to my relief and I was so so thankful to be carrying our perfect baby.

Back from Germany

I’m back!!  And trying to catch up on things.  Germany was wonderful.  If it weren’t for missing my boys, I would have definitely wanted to stay longer – much longer.  I now want to see so many other parts of Europe.  I just loved the culture, the cities, the beautiful views.  And there’s soooo much more to see.  So many more countries to visit.  I want to see them all.  I know that’s nearly impossible, but a girl can dream.  Too bad it’s so darn expensive to travel.  I think my top 12 (I couldn’t pick just 10) destination list looks something like this: Ireland, Italy, France, England, Morocco, South Africa, Spain, Costa Rica, Brazil, Argentina, Greece, Turkey.  With honorable mentions for China, Japan, Switzerland, Turkey, and Australia.  But honestly, I think I’d go just about anywhere (that is safe)… I love to travel; love to experience new places!

I swear baby W grew while I was away.  He looked bigger, felt heavier, and his teeth had come in more.  I missed him like crazy, but being so busy helped keep my mind off of how much I missed him.  I owe my husband, mother-in-law, and mom a huge thank you for taking care of W while I was away.  It made things easier on baby W, but also on me.  I couldn’t have traveled if I didn’t know for sure that W was well cared for.

 

Alright, I have lots to catch up on, more to come…

Friday Favorites

 Happy Friday!!  This week's favorites...

1.       Pumpkin Spice Latte – It’s baaack.  And I love it a latte.  Ha!  I think lots of people love this drink and I wondered why Starbucks hasn’t made it a regular feature.  Then it occurred to me that all the excitement and anticipation of the Pumpkin Spice Latte would be lost if it was always on the menu.  Not to mention, pumpkin is synonymous with fall so ordering a pumpkin latte on a hot summer day just seems weird.  Anyway, it’s delicious and I’m happy it has returned along with many other pumpkin treats.  Side note:  Yesterday I stopped to pick up a PSL on the way home from work.  One of my favorite Starbucks employees told me my latte was on him; free of charge.  A very sweet gesture and it made my day.  Thank you, thank you!

 

2.       Everything Has Changed by Taylor Swift ft. Ed Sheeran – This song has probably been out for a while and in typical fashion, I’m most likely late in discovering it.  I am not really a Taylor Swift fan, but I do LOVE this song.  I crank up the volume every time I hear it.

3.       GAP’s Semiannual Kids and Baby sale – Go. Shop.  You won’t be disappointed.  Love me some Baby Gap.

4.       L’oreal’s Infallible Eyeshadow – I love makeup and I love these eye shadows.  Shimmery, long lasting, and affordable.  I’m a fan!  My favorite is Amber Rush.

5.       I’m traveling to Germany next week for work!  I’ll be there for 5 days.  I’m excited, but nervous.  I’ve never traveled overseas so this is a huge opportunity for me.  But I’m extremely nervous about my presentation and missing my sweet boy.  Hoping all goes well!  Think happy thoughts for me!

 

6.    Family - A huge thank you to my husband, mom, and mother-in-law for taking care of Baby W while I'm away.  Know my little man is in good hands makes it possible for me to travel.  I owe them.

7.       Baby W – Come on; you knew I had to end with him.  He has my heart and leaving him to go to Germany is going to be excruciating for me.  Any tips on how to leave my baby for 5 days without crying ugly tears and missing him immensely every day I’m away?

 

 

Hopes for Baby W

Well, yesterday was a rough day… I’ll spare all the details, but my insurance company basically lied to me and is now refusing to reimburse my claim.  Even though I had talked to them on the phone twice and they told me the supplies I needed would be covered, they’re now denying coverage.  AND the letter they sent me says they can’t guarantee anything said over the phone.  SO basically anything their employees say over the phone should not be believed.  Beware of Aetna.

In an attempt to cheer myself up, I’m thinking about my sweet little man.  Here are my hopes for baby W…

I hope you inherit your dad’s patience and calm demeanor.  But at the same time, I hope you inherit your mom’s strong will and determination to complete/succeed in the causes you truly believe in.  I hope you inherit your dad’s love for sports and your mom’s ability to recognize there are far more important things than sports. ;)  I hope you inherit your dad’s knack for remaining cool, calm, and collected under pressure, but also your mom’s passion and fervor.  I hope you inherit your dad’s love for history and your mom’s love for math and science.  I hope you inherit your dad’s uncanny ability to remember facts, specific events, and quotations and your mom’s ability to recount special moments and meaningful memories.  I hope you inherit you dad’s sense of humor and just a little of your mom’s sarcasm.  I hope you grow up in the church and recognize the importance of faith.  I hope you understand the significance of helping others, fighting for what you believe in, and honoring your family.  I hope you remain hopeful in times of sadness and learn from your mistakes.  I hope you find happiness and surround yourself with people who bring out the best in you.  I hope you learn that life isn’t always easy, but it will be an amazing journey and it’s always worth living.

Most of all, I hope you know how much you are loved, how much we wanted you and prayed for you, and how happy and proud you make us.  You may be one person in this vast world, but to us, you are the world.

Our WTF Appointment

After IVF 1 failed, we had a follow up appointment with the RE (what many IVFers refer to as the WTF appointment).  He thought things had gone well from my perspective and wanted to keep the same protocol for IVF 2.  He explained that because embryo development looked great until day 3 and slowed down after, there may be a problem with the sperm.  Apparently, an embryo failing to develop really early on is indicative of egg problems, whereas an embryo arresting after day 3 is indicative of sperm issues.  As a result, the RE recommended a 3 day transfer for IVF 2.  He said sometimes embryos just do better in vivo as opposed to in the lab.  He also mentioned that sperm quality can vary quite a bit among vials and he hoped that the vial used for IVF 2 would contain higher quality sperm.  Finally, he said that we could begin IVF 2 right away.  I knew I just wasn’t ready.  I was still so heartbroken and wanted to be in the right state of mind for the next IVF.  I wanted to give my mind and body time to heal.  I decided we’d wait at least a month before going through IVF again.
I should also mention that we're lucky enough to live in a state that requires insurance companies to cover IVF.  There are exceptions and limitations to coverage.  I think it's absurd that not every state requires insurance companies to cover IVF.

Weekend Recap

What a busy weekend!  I didn’t even have a chance to do Friday Favorites.  I always hate returning to work after a 3 day weekend…  It’s such a letdown.  And let’s not even talk about how the next holiday isn’t until Thanksgiving!  Gah!  On a positive note, the Pumpkin Spice Latte has returned at Starbucks… woohoo!

Weekend recap:

Friday was relatively uneventful.  I worked half the day, dropped off some clothes at a local consignment shop, and grabbed lunch with my mom.  I never understand these resale places.  How do they decide what they want and what they don’t?  I have nice clothes in great condition that are still in style and I have no idea why they didn’t want a couple of the items I dropped off.  It annoys me.

Saturday, we attended a 60^th birthday party for one of my former colleagues, Larry.  We’ve always been incredibly close.  Partly because Larry reminds me a lot of my dad and partly because we were temp employees for far too long.  Our managers wanted to hire us on, but didn’t get the proper permissions until Larry and I had been temporary employees for a year.  There was a lot of red tape and ridiculousness, but Larry and I stuck it out.  We were officially hired April 1 (as in April Fool’s Day– how fitting).  I eventually left the company and called Larry before giving my notice to tell him of my plans.  He was the only one I cared to tell and the only one who’s opinion mattered.  We’ve since kept in touch and even write letters… snail mail letters, not email!  That’s how special he is. J  Larry is one of those people who can do no wrong in my eyes – you know how there are some people you just click with and you’ll always be there for them?  He’s one of those people and he’ll always be very dear to me.  Anyway, back to the party.  It was lots of fun and it was great to see a few other former colleagues.  Delicious Filipino food and good company.  Larry also happens to live right on a lake and there’s a ton of boat traffic that passes by.  Someone had placed a large ‘Happy Birthday Larry’ sign on the dock, so nearly every group of boaters that passed by shouted “Happy Birthday!”.  I think baby W got a kick out of it.

Sunday, A and I attended our first Indian wedding.  I love experiencing other cultures’ celebrations.  I find the traditions and customs fascinating and this wedding certainly didn’t disappoint.  The ceremony included several Hindu rituals, which were conducted in Sanskrit, but the program described each one in English, which was very helpful and considerate.  I loved the Saris… absolutely gorgeous.  A asked me if I were to wear one, what color would it be?  I said red – my favorite color.  I wonder if the colors have any meaning?  Anyway, we enjoyed the beautiful hotel, cocktails, hors devours, and dinner.  I was worried the Indian food might be too spicy, but it was mild and very tasty.  A great event and I always love <rare> dates with my husband!  It was also wonderful to see how happy and proud the families of the bride and groom were.  I haven’t uploaded any pictures yet, but hope to share a few of them when I do.

Monday, was cleaning day.  I know the whole idea behind Labor Day is to not have to labor, but my mom had been after me for ages to clean out my bedroom.  Admittedly, it was a complete disaster.  It never gets cleaned because I focus on the main floor since that’s where we spend most of our time and that’s also what guests see.  My mom even volunteered to help.  Sidenote: I think she secretly enjoys cleaning.  I remember her vacuuming almost every day when I was a kid and we didn’t even have pets.  So we started working at 3ish and still weren’t done by 7.  We did take a couple breaks, but STILL.  Most of our efforts were centered on cleaning out my closet.  I’m embarrassed I let it get as bad as it did.  Never again.  Never again.  Now I want to clean out the rest of the house, but I have to finish the bedroom first.  These pictures aren't the best, but you can definitely see a huge difference.  Also note that it was dark outside when I took the second set of pictures!

 

I think that sums it up.  Oh, one more thing.  When we celebrated Baby W’s 8 month birthday, 2 weeks ago, he had no teeth.  Now, he is working on a third!  Crazy!!!