This past weekend was great. I felt really productive both Saturday and Sunday. Saturday started out with grocery shopping. I actually planned ahead for meals! That never happens. I got home, unloaded groceries, and decided to try my hand at pumpkin soup. It turned out just ok, but hey, it’s edible and it will be my lunch for at least a couple days this week. When baby W is on more table foods, I’m hoping to make a couple meals on Sunday to have later on in the week. If you know me, you know I don’t cook. Like anything. Ever. So preparing meals ahead of time would be a huge feat. Then, we decided to take W to a local pumpkin patch. A great idea in theory, but W slept the entire time. A and I still had fun visiting all the animals. We even picked out a couple pumpkins. I can’t wait to visit again. Maybe W will even be awake next time! We got home and I made some spinach and artichoke dip… yum! Then, the 3 of us headed out to visit friends… the same friends that recently announced they were expecting. Our friend Chris also happened to be in town from Minnesota. I’ve known him for 10+ years and it was great to see him. He announced that he and his wife are also expecting. That makes 3 friends expecting and they’re all due within a month of each other. Very happy for all of them… but I still get that pang of sadness – or maybe it’s envy. I don’t know if I’ll ever get over not being able to experience a natural pregnancy. Maybe if we go through another round of IVF and it’s successful, I’ll feel more at peace? I love W with all my heart, but I have this feeling that our family isn’t quite complete and not knowing if IVF will work again is agonizing.
Anyway, Sunday brought church, Starbucks, a quick trip to Babies R Us, the Bears game (which was awful), cleaning, I made dinner, we went for a family walk, and then it was time for bed.
And then it was Monday. Yuck. I seem to always feel like crap on Monday. Can’t we just skip Monday? W woke up in the night. Fortunately, he fell back asleep pretty quickly. I, on the other hand, did not. I got up, saw the massive pile of clothes for charity that I’ve been meaning to sort for about 2 weeks now. Remembered that I never did get around to vacuuming. Thought about how I had planned to drop W off for a couple hours with my aunt this coming Saturday so that I could have some me time, but now that isn’t going to happen. I was so looking forward to squeezing in some errands and maybe even lunch. Not to mention that my aunt loves seeing W. But I have to cancel for another commitment. And I just want to cry. I know I can reschedule, but I was so looking forward to a break THIS Saturday. Uggh. And then I realized that my makeup bag was in A’s car and he was already at work. So I’m just going to look terrible all day. Sometimes I feel like I just completely suck at the whole work, life balance. I was THIS close to calling in sick (or emailing in sick) this morning. THIS close. I even started typing an email to my boss as I waited for a freight train to pass. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention – I sat in construction traffic forever and got stopped by a freight train. But as I was saying…. mid email to my boss, I changed my mind. I hate lying. I was sick of staring at that pile of clothes, sick of being stuck in traffic, possibly looking sick due to lack of makeup, but I wasn’t ill. And I always think Karma will get me back by making me ill as punishment for lying about being sick. Yeah, I have issues. J So I arrived at work an hour and twenty minutes after leaving the house for what I’m sure will be a long day. Fun times.
But I have an idea… I think I may drop off W at his Grandma’s on Thursday, like I typically would, but use a vacation day. Hopefully I can accomplish many of the things on my growing to do list – sorting clothes, cleaning, a trip to the mall, ordering pictures, making some phone calls, maybe even a manicure (it’s been a year since I’ve gotten one)?!?! We’ll see… I don’t like using vacation days unless I NEED them, but then again, maybe I do need this for my mental health. ;) I feel better already.