W starts preschool

My baby toddler starts preschool next week.  And I am FA-reaking out.  Capital FA.  At first, I thought it was a great idea.  W has taken music classes, swim classes, gym classes, gone to library groups, etc.  And all of those have been great – providing enough socialization/interaction with other children.  But now that Grandma G and Nani will be watching W and S, it’s not possible to take W to those types of social settings.  Preschool seemed to be the perfect solution.  W could be around other children, get used to a school setting, and it would only be for a couple hours on Tuesdays and Thursdays.  AND grandmas would get a much needed break during that time.  Also, baby S would receive individual attention – a foreign concept to my deprived second born.  It sounded like a win for everyone.

And then I realized that someone else would be responsible for my baby toddler.  A stranger.  Someone I’ve never met before would be caring for him.  Cue panic.  W has never been watched by anyone outside of our family.  Partly because he doesn’t do well with people he doesn’t know very well and partly because I don’t trust anyone.  Someone once described a child as ‘your heart living outside of your body’.  And I just don’t trust strangers with my heart.  So why in the world did I think preschool would be a good idea?  What if W cries?  What if another child is mean to him?  What if his teacher doesn’t pay enough attention to him?  W is in a class of 2 year olds, but turns 3 in December.  As a result, he’ll be one of the oldest.  He doesn’t particularly like babies or toddlers so what if he hates class and my plan for socialization ultimately makes him anti-social?  What if?  What if?

It’s going to be ok, right?  We’ll both be ok?