Catching up and unfriending

Wow, it’s been awhile since I posted anything and so much has happened I don’t even know where to begin!  We celebrated W’s first birthday and Christmas, enjoyed lots of family time, took W to an Illini basketball game, and there was even a Facebook brawl thrown in.  Sigh.  Facebook – can’t live with it, can’t live without it.  Anyway.  I want to recap ALL of it!  But there’s way too much to cover in one post.  I should probably go in chronological order and unfortunately I think the FB brawl happened first.

I really don’t want to talk about it, but I think I will in an attempt to clear it from my mind.  One of the main purposes of this blog is for me to get things off my mind and put them somewhere else.  I’m the type of person who thinks about things way too much, overanalyzes situations and circumstances until they can’t possibly be analyzed anymore, scrutinizes every last detail.  I don’t forget emotional encounters easily and I am a pro when it comes to holding a grudge.  So even though this little situation should be done and over, I still find myself thinking about it every now and then.  Hopefully discussing it here will be the final chapter – the conclusion.

 

Remember when I said I had friends who recently announced they were expecting twins?  I was disappointed because I found out on FB.  Then I was disappointed because the wife (mom of twins) unfriended me.  I know, I know, I shouldn’t care.  But I did.  Because I take friendships seriously.  Because I thought we were better friends and I was hurt.  

 

In the meantime, I had a couple FB posts about friendship - nothing contentious.  Just that I was disappointed about losing friends and I posted on what friendship meant to me.

So I was at a cookie exchange when my dear husband posted this on FB: “If you've ever read any of my status updates (only a few people have) you know I usually write about the awful sports teams I follow, or the cryptic messages about people who aren't Christian, but celebrate Christmas... Ugh... But let me be serious for a little bit... Blocking or "un-friending" someone because they're sharing their joy is crap. It's not boasting, or bragging, or gloating or rubbing it in (believe me, she'll save that for when she beats me in our fantasy football championship). It's simply sharing our joy with you. Believe me, he's worth sharing. I hope you share all of the joys life offers you... Ok, back to what I usually do... For those of you who think Josh McCown is better for the Bears' future, either short or long term, please really think about what you're considering...“

Isn’t he the best?  He has a way with words and I need to convince him to write a few blog posts.

 

The post didn’t seem particularly controversial, but it (along with my previous friendship posts) sparked an incredibly mean, inappropriate post by my former friend – the father of the twins.  In it, he called me whiny, bitchy, and self-centered among other not nice things.  He said that I expect people to always agree with me and put my life ahead of their own.  Oh, he also accused me of talking about one of our mutual friends on FB (I wasn’t).  And best of all, instead of sending this little gem in a message, he posted on my wall for all to see.  Nice, huh?

I know.  Immature.  And I need to forget about it.

But it was harsh.  There were tears.  No one has ever said such mean things about me (that I know of).  And I started to wonder if any of what he said was true.  I don’t think so, but what if other people have similar thoughts about me?

 

It was also difficult because we have mutual friends and I know they saw the post.  Yet most of them said nothing to me.  I totally understand that it’s awkward to be stuck in the middle of feuding friends, but no matter what, the things he said were inappropriate, posting the message on my wall where friends and family could see it was inappropriate, and I think they could have said SOMETHING to me.  ANYTHING.  Like, “Hey, that wasn’t cool.  I don’t think any of those things are true.”

I did get many comments and messages from sweet friends asking if I was ok, ridiculing the poster, and telling me the post was rude and untrue.  They are true friends.

I guess, in a weird way, this is a blessing in disguise.  I know how this guy (jerk) really feels about me and there’s no need to maintain a friendship (obviously).  I also realize that our mutual “friends” aren’t really friends.  I already knew this I suppose, but this is definitely confirmation.  It’s good to know the truth and in a way, I feel free.  I won’t be putting in the effort only to have it not be reciprocated.  No more get togethers or happy hours with this group.  I’ll focus on those who are there for me, which includes a handful of friends and my fabulous family.  And that’s enough.  They’re all I need.

OH!  The following day, the poster sent a lame apology saying something about my wall being the wrong forum to share what was on his mind.  But NO apology for all the crap he said about me.  What.An.Ass.

P.S.  If you're wondering, I LOST in the fantasy football championship.  Bummer.  I'll get him next year!!

Surviving the toddler years

As we’re nearing the end of the first year, I’m getting more and more nervous about parenting.  That seems silly, but let me explain.  When you’re pregnant, you’re so excited about having a baby…. You don’t (or maybe it’s just me?) think about the toddler years, the kid years, the pre-teen years (gasp!!), etc.  The focus is on that little, tiny baby.  Then the baby arrives and it’s basically feeding, changing, comforting, engaging.  That’s all been pretty easy and I know I’m oversimplifying, but still... the first year seems more about fulfilling basic needs as opposed to teaching and molding a little person.  I mean sure, there have been tough, cranky, sleepless nights here and there, but for the most part, the baby part hasn’t been all that difficult.  Raising a toddler, on the other hand, scares the bajeebies out of me.  Potty training?!?!  Gross.  I’m so not looking forward to all the peeing and even worse… pooping everywhere!  OMG.  I don’t even know where to start.  I have no patience whatsoever and just the thought makes me shudder.  And the other thing that scares the bajeebies out of me – disciplining.  It’s my job to raise an independent, respectful, grateful, well behaved little man.  How the heck do I do that?!?!  I’m not really into spanking so do I do time outs?  A naughty step?  The corner?  Will I suck at following through?  I can’t suck at following through, then he’ll know he can get away with things.  What if I’m too easy going?  What if I’m too hard on him?  I need to tell him the right way to do things and not just emphasize what’s wrong, right?  Will I feel bad when he cries?  I.am.already.freaking.out.  How do we survive the toddler years?!?!?

Weekend Recap

Another crazy busy weekend come and gone.

Friday was my work holiday party.  The food was amazing!  Yum!  I tried every single dessert.  I also ordered W’s birthday cakes. (Yes, cakes.  As in 2.  We’re having a very small family party on W’s actual birthday and a larger party in January.  People told me he would hate his birthday being so close to Christmas.  Oh, really??  How many people get 2 parties??  I think he’ll be just fine.)  Anyway.

I have to admit, I was in a really bad mood on Saturday.  W was up during the night for hours again.  This is always tough on me because it takes me a long time to fall asleep.  So I was up even longer.  After an entire week of crappy sleep, I was just exhausted.  We had plans to meet Santa on Saturday at the bank where W’s grandpa works.  It snowed the night before and was still snowing that morning, but we made it eventually.  And shockingly, W didn’t even cry when he met Santa!  He was nearly hysterical the weekend before.  Maybe he just liked this Santa better?  Afterwards, we enjoyed breakfast/lunch.  I had hoped to accomplish a bunch of errands, but the snow put a damper on those plans.  W hardly napped and it was a long day, but fun nonetheless.

 

Saturday night, W slept through the night!!  Halleluiah!!  Sunday, we went to church and had plans to go grocery shopping and then head to A’s parents’ house to celebrate his dad’s birthday.  But W fell asleep in the car after church so we decided to head straight to A’s parents so W could nap.  After a week of poor sleep, I didn’t want to take any chances with missing out on a nap!!  So we dropped W off, stopped at Starbucks to grab a quick drink and sort coupons, shopped, returned to A’s parents’ for snacks, pizza, and the Bears game.  We had cake and watched A’s dad open gifts and then I baked cookies for what seemed like forever.  But I had so much fun!  My mother in law and my niece helped and I now have 60+ cookies ready for the cookie exchange (plus an additional 2 dozen cookies that got tossed because they didn’t turn out).  It was a great day!

4 days of work and I’m off until after Christmas. J

Thoughts on overcoming infertility and friendship

I’m not doing Friday Favorites today because I didn’t have time to prepare anything.  Instead I’m just going to share what’s been on my mind.

Wednesday was a rough day (as you could tell from my post), but each day has gotten a little better.  Lack of sleep really impacts my mood <obviously>.  I’m still sad that I’ve lost some friends along the way.  In the end, I have a wonderful family who is always there for me and that’s all that really matters.  After my post on Wednesday, I got a message from the friend expecting twins.  He basically said that he and his wife consider me a friend, but that his wife had to “unfriend” me on FB because they were having trouble conceiving and looking at the baby pictures I posted was too hard.  If you’re keeping count, that’s two really good friends who’ve unfriended me because I had a baby.

I’ve thought about what he said.  And I’ve thought about my friendship with this couple and here’s what I think.  1.  If you consider me a good friend, I still don’t think I should’ve found out you were expecting via social media.  2.  If you consider me a good friend, you should’ve explained why you were unfriending me BEFORE doing so, not months AFTER the fact.  I at least deserved a “heads up”, an explanation.  3.  The whole “unfriending” thing seems very, I don’t know, junior high-ish?  And finally:

I’ve been on both sides.  I’ve been the one struggling to conceive and the one feeling hopeless and lonely after a failed IVF.  I’ve also been able to overcome those struggles and I’ve been blessed with a perfect baby boy.  While I was struggling, it was hard to hear about other pregnancies and see baby pictures.  But in the end, I knew that those expectant moms weren’t taking something away from me.  Their success had nothing to do with my struggles.  Hiding them, unfriending them wasn’t going to change anything.

I post a lot of pictures and updates about my family on social media.  And I feel like those who unfriend me and then don’t stay in contact with me really have no idea what’s going on in my life.  They don’t know what we’ve been up to, they don’t know what W has accomplished lately, they don’t know anything.  And if they don’t care to know my life lately, then what kind of friend does that make them?

IVF is HARD.  I’ve been there.  I’ll go through it again.  When I finally found success, it seemed like I was chastised and pushed away.  That’s just not fair.  Having a baby doesn’t mean all those infertility struggles are gone and forgotten.  I feel like overcoming infertility should be celebrated.  So why am I being punished?

And are these “friends” expecting me to attend their baby showers?  Am I supposed to act like everything is fine once they have their babies?  Because I don’t think I can do that.  I’m a good person <for the most part>, but not that good…

Saying goodbye to friendship

I need to vent.  And luckily I have this blog, which provides space to do just that. J
 

W was up for 3 hours last night.  Between 11:30 and 2:30.  It was rough and little man was inconsolable.  He seemed to only want mama and he wanted to be held.  The second I tried to lay him down, screaming ensued.  Even when I laid him next to me in our bed.  I’m thinking teething again?  Not sure.  But what I am sure of is we’re all exhausted today.  My large coffee is making me feel a tiny bit better.

So here goes… I’ve been honest about struggling with the decision on when to go through another round of IVF.  Every time I’m at peace with the later date we’ve decided on, someone else announces a pregnancy and I want to do IVF sooner.  I also feel a little sad with each pregnancy announcement because I’m worried our next IVF will be unsuccessful.  And what if we aren’t able to get pregnant ever again?  Will I ever be able to come to terms with that?  So each pregnancy announcement is a reminder of what may never happen.  And there have been so many lately.  It’s hard on me.  And last night, I saw yet another pregnancy announcement.  Not only is the couple expecting a baby, they’re expecting 2.  A second friend expecting twins.  I’m happy for them.  But I also thought we were better friends and I deserved a text, an email, something – instead of finding out on Facebook.  I guess I was wrong. 

The other kicker, a friend who I had gone through IVF with hid me long ago on Facebook.  She’s hardly talked to me since W arrived.  But there she was, commenting on the twin news and wishing the couple congrats.  We used to be really close.  We emailed often (daily!), shared IVF horror stories, and hubs and I even dog sat for her while she was visiting family.  A and I got pregnant on our second round of IVF, but it took her much longer.  She also suffered quite a few miscarriages.  She’s pregnant now (along with the rest of the world, apparently).  I understand that my pregnancy was hard on her.  But I thought she’d be happy for me since we had both struggled.  When she told me she hid me on FB my feelings were hurt.  When the emails and texts came to a hault, my feelings were even more hurt.  But now, seeing that she’s happy for our mutual friends and has no trouble talking to them on FB, it’s a theoretical slap in the face.  It seems unfair and hypocritical.

Last night A suggested I give up on this friendship.  I’m not a quitter.  I stubbornly don’t give up on anything.  But I think it’s time.  I knew having a baby would be life changing, but I didn’t expect to lose friends.

I’m sorry if I sound bitter.  I’m so so thankful for W and I don’t want to sound ungrateful for the gift we’ve been given.  If  W is the only child we’re meant to have, then I’ll have to be ok with that.  I realize there are many still struggling to have a first child and they are always in my heart.  I pray for them every night.  But I also feel in my heart, we’re meant to have a larger family.  And I’m scared it may not happen.

I’m a passionate person.  I can’t hide my emotions.  I also can’t do halfhearted friendships.  And right now, I’m just down.  Or maybe I’m just tired…. Tomorrow is a new day.  Tomorrow will be better.

Weekend Recap

In a word, this past weekend was wonderful.

It started off with a Friday work potluck lunch.  My colleagues are hilarious.  They are seriously some of the funniest people I’ve ever met and I thoroughly enjoy working with them.  I think I laughed almost the entire lunch.  The food didn’t disappoint either!  Stuffed cabbage rolls, fruit, rice, pasta, sandwiches, flan… yum.  And now I need to not eat for 5 days to make up for all the calories I consumed.

Saturday, A and I attended a wedding and W had his first sleepover at grandma and grandpa’s house.  I was told he was a gentleman and I’m so glad he had a good night.  And it was awesome to have a night off from our parenting duties.  I really enjoyed the wedding.  The bride and groom are the sweetest.  The groom, who we don’t know well, came over to us before the ceremony to tell us that he remembered attending our fall wedding and thanked us for attending his.  Adorable.  The bride was stunning.  Her dress was gorgeous – totally my style.  The love they share for each other was just so palpable – you could feel it by observing them.  I know, without a doubt, they’ll be together forever.  The reception was fun too.  We got to spend time with friends we hadn’t seen in years.  A was especially funny and kept me laughing throughout the evening.  Such a fun night. J  Obviously, I suck at sharing pictures.  I’d love to say I’ll post the ones from my camera, but I don’t want to make any promises I can’t keep.  So here’s the one and only photo I took with my phone.

 

Sunday, we had breakfast with Santa.  W did NOT like Santa.  I tried to sit him on Santa’s lap and he screamed.  It was sad (ok, I’ll admit, I actually thought it was really funny).  I rescued W from Santa and we ended up with a Santa family photo – not what I envisioned, but it will have to do. J  We also adopted a family through Catholic Charities and had to drop off the gifts yesterday afternoon.  And it snowed!  We got about 3 inches of snow - it looks so pretty and festive.

It was a crazy busy weekend.  I don’t feel like I had any time to relax, but it was lots of fun.

I hope to do a photo dump soon because I feel like pictures really tell a story, but since I write on my lunch break and never on my home computer that seems unlikely.

 

Today is a gift and that's why it's called the present...

I haven’t really been in the mood to blog lately.  I’m not sure why.  Part of me is overwhelmed with the holidays.  I just feel like there is so much to do and not enough time.  The late Thanksgiving holiday certainly didn’t help.  My mind constantly wanders to the shopping that needs to be done, the presents that need to be wrapped, the party that needs to be planned.  I keep telling myself to slow down and enjoy the present.  All of the things on my to do list will be accomplished eventually.  Easier said than done.  Yesterday, the following quote appeared in my FB newsfeed:

“Sometimes we get so caught up in what’s ahead that we forget how wonderful it is to just live in the moment.  Stop, listen, and enjoy the here and now.”

It makes perfect sense.  I want to enjoy the pre-Christmas festiveness with my nearly one year old.  This is the only Christmas he’ll have as a one year old.  Yes, there will be more Christmases to enjoy down the road, but each one will be special and unique and I want to enjoy THIS one in all its glory.  So I need to take a deep breath and stop worrying, stop planning, and just enjoy.

If I’m being completely honest, the decision of when to do IVF again has been weighing on me heavily.  My heart and my head are saying two different things and that’s never good.  I’ve been praying about it and trying to gain some clarity.  This is a big decision for sure, but I’m not sure why it’s causing me such anxiety.  Hopefully I can put all IVF thoughts on hold for the time being.

Here’s to making an effort to enjoy the present and trust that God has a plan for our family…

 

 

 

Thanksgiving Weekend Recap

What a great weekend!  I so enjoyed family time.

Wednesday, W and I had a great day.  We played all morning, he took a long nap, and we picked up lunch for daddy (who worked half the day) and Grandma G.  It was a perfect Thanksgiving Eve. J  I know I’m not meant to be a SAHM, but days like that make me wish I could spend more time with W.  How do I get a part time job that pays the same?? ;)

Thursday, we headed over to Grandma and Grandpa W’s house.  Grandma G joined us along with my brother who rarely makes an appearance.  He’s only seen W twice despite living about an hour away.  Inexcusable.  But that’s a story for another day and even though I’m disappointed in him, Thanksgiving is about being grateful.  I decided I was going to let my disappointment go for the day (after all, missing out on W’s life is definitely my brother’s loss – everyone who meets W instantly loves him), focus on enjoying my family, and reminisce on the past year and how truly fabulous it was.  I’m not trying to sound all “my life is perfect”, but we’re in a really good place and I appreciate that.  We’ve had some bumps along the road – jobs we hated (me), jobs we were way overqualified for (hubs), and a failed IVF cycle.  I’m extremely thankful for a healthy son, a healthy husband, and rewarding jobs.  The food was delicious and a great time was had by all.  The only bad thing was I forgot to take some pictures of W. L  I’ve taken pictures of him on every single holiday.  He even had a cute Thanksgiving bib… boo. L

Friday was spent shopping!!  My mom and I head out early every year.  It’s our tradition.  I even went out last year at 8 months pregnant.  It was actually great because I took advantage of the expectant mother parking and everyone stayed out of my way since I was huge.  Ha!  Anyway, we headed out early.  Well, not THAT early – we’re not crazy.  We arrived at the mall around 8am.  We found lots of bargains and were done shopping by noon.  We met W and hubs for lunch and the rest of the day was uneventful.

Saturday, I can’t remember doing much of anything.  Football was on, we took a family walk, and hubs did lots of cleaning.

Sunday was church, Starbucks, football, and errands.

And now I’m sad that the 5 day weekend has come to an end.  As always, it went by incredibly fast.  And this coming weekend is jam packed so it will fly by too. L  I suppose I should be thankful for a full schedule since it means time spent with family and friends.

Hope everyone had a happy Thanksgiving.

This and that

I'm not sure why, but I haven't felt like posting.  For once, we had a very low key weekend.  We went out to lunch, ran errands, went to church, and watched football.  I also ordered our Christmas cards!  It was a great, relaxed weekend.  So maybe I just feel like I don't have much to report.

And I don't really anticipate posting much in the near future.  If you need me, I'll be stuffing my face, shopping, and enjoying family time.

Happy Thanksgiving!

And because I feel like I've hardly said anything, I'll leave a post I wrote awhile ago, but never published...  Sometimes I feel like I should be giving W more when in fact, he has all he needs. :)

Dear W,

 I’m sorry that your dad isn’t a lawyer or a doctor.  I’m sorry that your mom isn’t a business executive or a fabulous designer.  I’m sorry that you’ll never have the biggest house on the block or attend that nationally ranked school.  I’m sorry you won’t have that luxury car as a teenager, designer clothes, or the latest cell phone.  I’m sorry that you won’t visit exotic locations while on family vacations.  I’m sorry that you’ll miss out on extravagant electronics, the fanciest restaurants, and the best seats at every sporting event.  But the thing is… I’m NOT really sorry.  You see, your mom grew up in a small house without lots of extras and attended a school that’s probably ranked at the very bottom of every list.  Your mom learned to appreciate the little things and work hard.  She learned that it’s so important to give back.  She learned how to be gracious and humble.  She learned that relationships and quality time are more important than things and stuff.  She learned that success and wealth are two very different concepts.  And so will you.  And most importantly, despite your mom and dad having a small house, conventional cars, and an “ordinary” life, they’re really, really happy.  And you will be too.

Love,

mom

Friday Favorites

Friday Favorites!!  Hooray!

 I have been trying to eat better, but we're approaching the holidays and I can’t say no to sweets.  So instead of cutting them out, I’m enjoying them in moderation.  Hence, the two very unhealthy favorites…

 

·         White Fudge Covered Oreos.  Gosh, I love these things!!

·         Ben and Jerry’s Chocolate Peppermint Crunch.  I’m not a mint chocolate chip fan or mint anything fan for that matter.  But this ice cream is amazing!!  Try it!

·         Baby W’s cold is getting better!  Woohoo!

·         Remember when I mentioned I was having lunch with friends and they were going to reveal the gender of their twins??  Well, I KNOW.  Drum roll, please… They are having two girls!!  Two identical girls.  Let the dress shopping begin!

·         Favorite outfits and accessories of the week:

 

Once again, these pictures are horrible.  You can't even see the cute details on the top or my bracelets in the first pic.  Trust me, they're there.  I don’t have time for good/real camera pictures.  I should probably just stop taking them!

That’s all for now!  Happy weekend!

Oh What a Night

Wowzer, yesterday was frustrating.  A and I were both exhausted since W woke up 3 times the previous night.  He seemed to wake every couple hours because he was congested and couldn’t breathe.  Really stinks since I thought his sleep was FINALLY back to normal.  Now it just seems like those wonderful 9+ hour stretches of sleep were a tease.  We have a humidifier in his room and put a blanket under his mattress so he sleeps on an incline, but it doesn't seem to be helping.  He hasn’t been himself in the evenings.  A and I gave the little man a bath early yesterday evening.  I had hoped the warm water would sooth him and clear his congested nose.  That may have worked had he actually SAT in the tub!!  He was determined to stand and hop out.  Sigh.  Then, I attempted to clear his nose with one of those snot sucker things.  He sure does hate those things.  Whining, wiggling, and crying ensued.  Then, we attempted feeding him baby food.  Actually, first, I tried to give him turkey, which he threw on the floor.  I’m convinced I could give him anything – ice cream, cake, a doughnut, and he’d throw it on the floor just to be stubborn.  It doesn’t matter whether he likes it or not, it’s going on the floor.  The dog is very happy.  Anyway, I tried to give him baby food, which he normally loves, but he’d smack the spoon sending puree flying everywhere.  Talk about frustrating.  I would tell W “no” and say, “do NOT hit the spoon” and then he’d get mad at me and cry.  I really wanted him to eat – he needed to eat.  He should’ve been hungry.  Also, we don’t typically give him a bath before solids for obvious reasons, but that’s the way it worked out yesterday.  We finally managed to get him to eat half of a pouch.  I then decided to hop in the shower.  I told A to bring W into the bathroom so the steam could help clear his nose.  Not sure if it helped, but we tried.  After that, it was final bottle and bed time.  I think it was a little after 8 pm at this point?  He usually has a final bottle at 7:30, but had  taken a long nap so his schedule was a little off.  No big deal.  He would NOT take a bottle.  A tried several times.  I tried several times.  W was incredibly stubborn.  He’d shake his head, wiggle, and smack the bottle.  Finally, I gave up and set him on the floor.  He gave me the biggest, most mischievous smile as if to say “I win”.  Again, I’m convinced he was just being stubborn.  We waited awhile.  Finally, around 9 pm (waaaay past his bed time), A was able to get baby W to take his bottle.  What a night.  Shortly after W went to bed, I went to bed.   I hate nights like that.  I never got any down time and I’m not sure what the deal is with this stubbornness.  The crying and feisty behavior makes me feel like a bad mom (though I realize I better get used to this… ahem terrible twos and threes…).  I hope tonight is better!

Baby W is 11 Months Old

Happy 11 months!  I cannot believe we are 1 month away from you turning 1.  It just seems impossible.  This month, we celebrated your first Halloween.  You loved seeing the pumpkins and visiting farm animals, however, you HATED your cow costume.  And you made your discontent very obvious.  My typically happy boy would not muster even the slightest smile the entire time that cow costume was on.  Mom will find a better costume for next year.  In the past month, you’ve started to rock/dance when you hear songs.  You say “mama” quite a bit and you seem to say it when I’m near or when you see my picture so I’m calling that your first official word.  Yay!! J  You also say “moo” when I say, “What does a cow say?  Moooo…”.  You really enjoy books and love your Peekaboo books that have flaps you can open.  You’re standing, pulling up on everything, and you’ve used the furniture to help you move about.  You love being outside and going for walks.  You had a rough month in terms of sleep, but have been much better lately.  Here’s hoping the good sleep continues.  You just got your fifth tooth so maybe the poor sleep was teething related.  You’ve tried lots of new foods including: chicken, cheese tortellini, bagels, mushroom ravioli, grilled cheese, French fries, waffles, and turkey… some days you seem to love these and other days, not so much – except for chicken – you always LOVE chicken.  Another great month!  You are our everything and more, little man!  Time to start planning a super first birthday party!

Oh Christmas Tree, Oh Christmas Tree...

I had to take a little hiatus because I got sick AGAIN.  Two colds in less than a month.  Not fun.  Here’s hoping I’m done being sick for awhile.  I really don’t want to go for the trifecta and make it three in a row.  Unfortunately, it appears baby W caught my cold.  Breaks my heart. L  I hope he gets over it quickly.  A said at least we’re getting the sickness out of the way in time for the holidays.  I hope he’s right!

Our weekend was very low key.  I’m glad we didn’t have any plans since I’m still recovering from the plague.  Because we had a free weekend, we decided to decorate for Christmas!  Don’t worry, we’ll still be excited for Thanksgiving and all that yummy goodness, but I love that our house looks so festive.  I love the glow of the lights on the Christmas tree.  I love the smell of the cinnamon candles and the sight of the pretty garland on the dining room table.  So what if I want to be in a festive mood a little earlier this year?  It brings me joy. 

Baby W likes to look at the tree, but he wasn’t as excited as I thought he’d be.  I wonder what he’ll think of the presents…??

 

Yesterday, we had terrible storms.  It was nearly 70 degrees – unheard of for Chicago in November.  Just a few days ago, temperatures were in the 20s and we had snow.  Even though there were strong winds, downpours, and lots of thunder and lightning, no major damage occurred.  We were lucky.  The central and southern parts of the state weren’t so lucky.  There were several tornados that touched down and towns were destroyed.  People were injured and a few lost their lives.  Very sad.  I’m thankful we had little damage, but feel terrible for those who lost everything. L

On a brighter note, some of our best friends have twins on the way and tomorrow they’re telling me the gender.  I CANNOT wait to find out.  I know both babies are the same gender… I’m dying to know.  At first I thought 2 boys, BUT I am usually wrong so then I thought maybe two girls.  The way Megan is carrying makes me think girls, but the morning sickness makes me think boys.  Long story short… I HAVE NO IDEA.  Eeeeee… so excited to find out.  I can’t wait to meet them!!

 

Also brighter... Baby W has been sleeping through the night!  Yay!!  But I'm sure I just jinxed it.

I promise the tree is not leaning - bad camera angle

 

 

My little kissy face <3

 

ZZzzz

I’m having a rough day week.  Before I go into that, I want to make it clear that I’m not trying to be whiny or complainy (yes, I just made up a word) in regards to Baby W.  I’m just trying to understand.  I promised myself that I would never ever complain about the difficult moments that come along with having and parenting a baby.  I’m so blessed to have W in my life and I’ll gladly take those moments that test my patience.  I’ll take any parenting related tribulation if it means I get to be a mom.

With that said, W has not been sleeping well.  For the past three nights, he’s woken up and will not go back to sleep.  He does this weird thing where he seems to sleep crawl in his crib, which always results in him bumping his head on the side of the crib.  That only makes him more upset and it’s even harder to get him back to sleep.  Or he’ll wake up and immediately stand up in his crib and start to cry.  He will not lay back down once he stands up.  I’m not comfortable with letting him “cry it out”.  I’m at a loss.  For the past 2 nights, I’ve brought him into our bed because it’s the only thing that calms him quickly and he falls back asleep.  I KNOW this is bad and I don’t want him to think he can sleep with mom and dad every night.  Kudos to those who co-sleep, but I am not on board with that.  He has a bed and I have mine.  His naps have been inconsistent, but yesterday he took two naps so I have no idea what happened last night.  Here’s a little glimpse into our night:

7:30 – bottle.  W falls asleep after finishing bottle.  In crib by 7:45.  Wakes up at 9:50ish.  With rocking, falls back asleep.  Return him to crib.  10:15 – awake again.  Repeated attempts at soothing… rocking, walking, etc.  10:30ish – 2 oz of formula with Motrin.  Maybe his teeth are bothering him?  10:45 – falls asleep after bottle.  Return to crib.  Awake again at 10:50 ish.  Bring him to our room.  Falls asleep in our bed.  I attempt to return him to crib around 11.  Awake again.  Give up at 11:15ish and let him sleep in our bed.  I wake up at 3 and return him to his crib.  He wakes for the day at 5:15.  Despite attempts to get him back to sleep, he’s up.

Is this a phase??  What gives?  Add the sleepless nights to the fact that my most favorite pair of <pricey> shoes broke yesterday, work has been a bit hectic, and I’m not feeling well (praying that I’m not coming down with another cold), and I’m an overwhelmed zombie.

A friend sent me a link on sleep regression.  Perhaps this is what we’re dealing with? :\

sleep regression

Weekend Recap

Well, another weekend come and gone way too quickly.

We did not end up decorating for Christmas… yet.  Maybe this coming weekend!  I was overly ambitious per usual.  But we still got lots accomplished.

Saturday I got my hair cut and highlighted and I’m feeling much better.  I added layers and I’m loving that my hair doesn’t seem so weighed down – I have a TON of hair.  Yay for a new do – an instant pick me up!

Saturday night was trivia night.  It was so much fun and our team did great.  I even contributed… yes!!  Going into the final round, we were in second place, which was awesome.  We kinda fell apart in the last round and ended up in fifth place – still a good showing.

Sunday was our usual routine.  Baby W refused to take a second nap despite my best efforts of rocking, white noise, laying down with him, and more rocking.  Sigh.  I’m not sure what’s going on with his sleep lately.

Monday was super cleaning day.  A helped and so did my mom.  That sounds terrible, but believe it or not, my mom actually enjoys cleaning.  In her words, she “enjoys projects and keeping busy”.  She even came over with her own cleaning supplies?!?!  Stairs were vacuumed, new couch pillows were purchased, drawers were cleaned out, even under the bed was vacuumed.  I still have a couple things on my cleaning list, but the house is looking good! 

 

And once again, W refused a second nap.  He ended up falling asleep in his highchair during dinner.  We let him sleep for 30 minutes and then woke him up so he’d sleep at night.  Not sure if that was the right move - maybe we should’ve kept him up.  Regardless, I think he would’ve woken up in the night.  I heard him on the monitor at 4 am.  I looked and it appeared that he was under a blanket at the end of the crib.  Then, I noticed movement on the opposite side of the crib.  I looked a little closer and realized that he was standing up, having his own little party, chatting away.  Uggh.  I asked A to bring him in bed with us.  The dog was already in our bed, so why not add one more to the mix?!?  Besides, there was no way W was going to lay down and fall back asleep on his own.  It seems that lying in our bed next to us relaxes him and he’s able to fall back asleep sooner (as opposed to rocking him).  30 minutes later, he was asleep and I returned him to his crib.  I’d love to know why he keeps waking up.  I know the time change couldn’t have helped and lack of a second nap certainly isn’t helping.  We had his ears checked by the doctor on Friday and they looked fine.  I’ve been blaming teething for about a month and haven’t seen any teeth.  I guess it’s just a phase?  Hopefully, I can make it through the day without nodding off at my desk!  Extra coffee for me!!

Friday Favorites

Friday Favorites… dun, dun, dunnnnn….

• Red cups at Starbucks!!  Helloooo holidays!!  It makes my heart smile.  Pass me a peppermint mocha, please!
• I’m getting my hair cut and highlighted this weekend and my oh my, do I need it!  I may even change my hair style a bit… hmmm.
• We are competing in a trivia contest this weekend.  There are no words for how horrible I am at trivia.  They just never ask questions about the things I’m knowledgeable about… you know… celebrity baby names, Facebook stalking, Teen Mom 3, fast food restaurants, baby Gap...  Just kidding – I really am terrible, though.  But for some reason, I LOVE trivia games… I guess I just love feeling dumb? J
• I’m taking Monday off.  A is also off.  By the way, a HUGE thank you to our veterans.  I would last about 0.2 seconds in the military so I give all of those who serve major props.  Thank you for your hard work and dedication so we can all pursue our dreams.  So since A and I both have the day off, we are working on the house.  It desperately needs some deep cleaning and little upgrades here and there.  My husband is on the verge of becoming a hoarder so I’m hoping to convince him to part with a few items. ;)  And as previously mentioned, we might bust out the Christmas décor!
• I started Christmas shopping about 2 weeks ago.  I think it’s the earliest I’ve ever started.  But I also have more to buy this year than ever before.
• I’m still trying to put a little more effort into my style – choosing outfits and accessories.  I’m also having fun wearing things I haven’t worn is years.  Last year at this time, I was super pregnant so I’m enjoying rediscovering my clothes.

 

P.S.  I know the quality of these photos is horrendous, but I think they get the point across.  The jacket and the sweater shown have not been worn in years, but I really like them.  They almost feel like new clothes since it’s been so long.  Almost. J

 And some not so favorites…

 

• The time change.  I hate driving home in the pitch dark.  Yuck.  I was worried about how Baby W would adjust, but he’s actually done pretty well.
• These Bitstrip things that keep popping up in my FB newsfeed.  OMG I hate them.  And EVERYONE is doing them.  I really don’t need to see cartoon versions of all my friends.  No thank you.  Apparently there’s a way to block them – I need to do that.
• Recruiters that call me at work.  First of all, I have a job; I’m not looking.  I mean obviously – you called me AT MY WORKPLACE.  Second of all, how the heck are you getting my phone number??  Leave me alone!  And third, if I were looking, would I really want to talk to you at work, where all my colleagues could hear our conversation??  Umm… no.  Duh.

 Happy weekend!!!

It's Beginning to Look a lot Like Christmas...

I’m actually considering decorating for Christmas this coming weekend.  I know, I know, respect the turkey, don’t be in such a hurry, one thing at a time, and all that… I kind of hate myself for even thinking it.  BUT I am super excited for Christmas this year.  I can’t wait to start new traditions and experience all the merriment with Baby W.  Having the house decorated and the tree displayed in all its glory just makes our home feel so warm and festive.  Besides, our weekends are always chock full with plans, chores, errands, etc.  I blink and the weekend is over so I might as well do the Christmas thang while I have some time, right??  There’s no telling when my next free weekend will be.  And but also… Baby W turns 1 five days before Christmas.  That means I have to prepare for both family Christmas celebrations and a fabulous birthday party.  I’m already overwhelmed.  So yeah, I think Christmas is happening in our house this weekend… Go ahead and hate me.

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way…

 

^ Why yes, those are Christmas pjs.  The only time his hair is straight is after a bath.

Let's Eat!

Not a whole lot to report here…

DA Bears!!  I think I’ve mentioned that A and I are big sports fans.  It’s a rare occurrence when our team travels to the land of cheese and returns with a victory.  What a game last night!!  And Baby W insisted on wearing his Bears onesie to bed… no really, he did. J  He’s already a sports fan.

This weekend, A and I got to go out on a little date to celebrate our anniversary while W played with his cousins.  A good time was had by all.  A and I were hoping to see a movie, but couldn’t find one that we really wanted to see at a time that worked for us.  We did have a yummy lunch at the Cheesecake Factory, though.  Love that restaurant!  Afterwards, we took a drive through the spot where we had our wedding photos taken.  It was gorgeous.

 

I was starting to get extremely worried because W would not eat table foods or anything with texture.  He would either immediately spit out the food or chew and then spit out.  Some foods he seemed to like, he would chew, but then he wouldn’t swallow.  We’ve tried so many different things – from the textured Stage 3 baby foods to mashed fruits to grilled cheese.  I Googled these behaviors (first mistake) and read that they could be a sign of autism or speech problems.  Cue panic.  I contemplated making a doctor’s appointment.  I’d brought up my concern at W’s 9 month appointment and our pediatrician didn’t seem overly concerned.  He said to just keep trying and that some babies take a little longer to adjust to table foods.  Well, I’m not sure what happened this weekend, but W became an eating machine.  I feel like we had a major breakthrough.  He ate chicken (cannot.get.enough), carrots, noodles, yogurt, and mac and cheese.  I’m so relieved by his progress.  I know I worry too much, but I guess that’s what moms do.  I’m looking forward to giving him more foods to try.

Friday Favorites

I’ve been slacking on Friday Favorites.  I don’t have any great new finds to share.  I’ve always loved clothes and dressing up, but lately I’ve been feeling extremely frumpy and just blah overall.  During my pregnancy, I gained about 45-50 pounds.  It was more than I wanted to gain and more than I expected to gain, but I ate really well and tried to be healthy.  I didn’t really indulge and didn’t have any cravings.  I was very worried about Gestational Diabetes (for no good reason other than I have a sweet tooth) and as a result, I was super careful about what I ate.  I think much of my weight gain was due to major swelling at the end of my pregnancy.  Even the nurses at the hospital remarked on how extremely swollen my ankles were.  After W arrived, I lost at least 35 lbs in about 2 weeks.  A few months later, I weighed less than my pre-pregnancy weight.  It was awesome!!  Thank you, nursing!  But since I’ve stopped nursing, I’ve gained back about 5 lbs and I’m currently right at my pre-pregnancy weight.  All this to say that I’m finding it hard to be comfortable in my own skin… all the up and down weight.  I’m just not feeling cute.  So I decided that this Friday, I was going to put in a little more effort.  I was going to choose a cute outfit and try a new hair style.  Well, the new hair style was an epic fail.  I should’ve known that “beachy waves” were a bad idea.  I mean the only beach near me is Lake Michigan and my beach hair looked more like “went to bed with wet hair and woke up with one big mess” hair.  I can see how the beachy hair could work for some, but I have waaay too much hair for that.  I’m giving myself credit for trying!  A for effort.  My outfit isn’t anything special, but I at least look put together.  I picked out a fun, bright necklace to contrast this dreary day.  I love the color of my cardigan – the pea green just screams fall to me.  I don’t normally wear boots because I think they make me look short and chubby, but these seemed to add even more of a fall feel.  And Fridays are the only day I can wear jeans to work, so I wasn’t going to let that opportunity pass me by.  So my favorite thing this Friday… putting a little more effort into my style. :)